By the time I walked from Darkroom to Lit the NYE Burning Angel take over of DJ Jazzy Jess’s weekly party NC-17 I was starting to sober up.  I managed to finish off my bottle of rum there, so by the time I left I was once again spinning, but I had about an hour where I actually knew how to work my camera. Not that the pictures are any better, but they are significantly more graphic.

This gallery is super Not Safe For Work. In the back room of Lit the Burning Angles did a VIP type of deal and everyone got naked. My boy Brian Street Team was in town from LA for the party and nobody gets me good photos like that dude. He is always causing trouble and always getting someone naked. That being said, if you don’t want to see his dick, you should be careful when looking at these pictures.  Most of the one involving him naked were just too grapic to post for a family oriented site like Driven By Boredom, but one of them was way too funny not to post. If you want to see more of these girls naked and more of Brian naked doing pornographic things to these girls you should sign up for BurningAngel.com.

I think I was too drunk to shoot any good pictures of BA queen Joanna Angel but I did get a pretty funny one of her with NYC professional eating legend Crazy Legs Conti. I am a big pro eating fan as you might know and I drunkenly kept rambling at him about things I have eaten.  I probably should have just made more naked girls take pictures with him, cause that would have been way more fun for everyone.

After I went to Lit I ran over to see MSTRKFT DJ at Webster Hall and then I came back to Lit just in time for everyone to start heading home.  Fortunately I grabbed two Burning Angels and took them to Beauty Bar for after hours.  I shot them naked all over Beauty Bar and I will post that in a gallery later in the week, but if you look below, I posted a gallery from Beauty Bar.  I only shot a few photos of the party there so I decided not to do a separate post.

So yeah. Click here to see the very NSFW photos from NC-17 @ Lit and click here to see a handfull of pictures from Beauty Bar.  Fucking insanity.

For the last two days, for whatever reason, I left my apartment intending on taking pictures of something. I failed both nights in a row.  My motivation for taking party pictures that I am not getting paid to take is probably the lowest it has ever been.  So hire me already so I can have a reason to blog about your parties… I need to be shooting more than twice a week.

Around 2am last night my phone died so I decided to go home.  I can’t really deal mentally without having my phone on me at all times because it seems whenever I don’t have it some how I miss a dead line or some crazy happening. Or maybe it’s just my OCD acting up again. On my way home I stopped in the Skinny for a few minutes to say hi to people at the Atomic X party which used to be at Beauty Bar on Wednesdays.  They played 5 Beatles songs in a row so I ended up staying for slightly longer than I planned to. The gimmick to that party is that they give away free candy and I was sitting at the bar shoving Swedish Fish in my mouth like I was a gummi grizzly bear. That’s when it happened. I picked up a bag of fish with only two fish in it. Two fish!! I call Shenanigans on that! You can imagine my outrage.  Yes, admittedly the fish were free, and admittedly there were plenty more bags of fish in the candy bowl, but this is America and I don’t have to stand for no Shenanigans!

I decided to write a letter to the makers of Swedish Fish, Cadbury Adams. Please enjoy.

And yes, I actually did send it.

So when I was in Austin last week people kept asking me if I was in town for Fun Fun Fun.  Fun Fun Fun is a big music fest in Austin that had a ton of bands I actually wanted to see, and I sort of hate seeing bands. Unfortunately it was on Saturday and Sunday and I had a wedding Saturday and I left on Sunday.  I did get a chance to enjoy the festivities a little bit. Beauty Bar Austin threw three after parties Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I guess Friday was more of a pre-party.  I saw that Totally Michael was playing, and I saw him at SXSW and that was really fun so I decided to check it out. When I got there he was on his last song so I got about three photos.  After that instead of shooting the party I just shot my friends and then a few random shots.  Nothing really exciting happened and it was over at 2 so it sort of flew by. There was an after party after that I ended up youtube Djing and some dude threw a girl on the ground in dramatic fashion but I have no photos of that. I got dragged to the worst after party I have ever been and I got stuck in the middle of nowhere. I ended up dropping $15 on a cab and ending back at my hotel at 6am with a wedding to go to. I also found out that this girl I know is super shady after her sisters boyfriend called me to yell at me for texting her after she told me to text her 10 times. Not sure exactly what happened, but it was super weird.  It was a pretty strange night in all. There are only 25 photos here, and most of them are pretty bad, but if I didn’t post SOME photos from Austin I would be doing everyone a disservice.  Actually, I have some photos of my old roommates band Shells and a super cute Gods Girl that will be up sooner or later, but these are the only party pics from ATX.  Click here to see them.

So I had plans to be in Philly last night.  I called a bunch of people and everyone wanted to hang out tonight instead of last night.  I sort of made plans with my ex, but as I got closer to Philly she canceled them.  So I just kept going… I ended up getting into NYC right about 2 am and I had a lot of caffeine in me for the drive so I just drove straight to Beauty Bar.  All summer Smith’s bassist Andy Rourke and Olé Kortskey DJ their Jetlag party Wednesday nights at Beauty Bar.  I have been meaning to go since I love those dudes but I hadn’t made it out till last night.  Beauty Bar was far from packed when I got there but there were a bunch of people that I think are awesome.  Mishka was sponsoring the party so Greg Mishka was there.  Ellen Stagg was there who is super hot, a sick photographer and runs her own porn site.  You can’t get much more my type than that… With her was a bunch of cute drunk girls including Playboy model Jelena Jensen who pulled out her epic boobs for the excitement of pretty much everyone there.  There were mad camera phones out when she posed for my pictures.

Aside from taking pictures I also shot some stuff for the DBB Webisodes that I am working on.  I missed out on getting some interviews that I wanted cause everyone was so drunk, but Beauty Bar owner Mike Stewart told me a pretty good story about hanging out with John Waters and having little gang kids throw rocks at them.  I also got Andy Rourke to tell me the story about how Little Richard tried to get Andy to buy drugs from Little Ricardo, the son of Little Richard.  I have seen some crazy things happen in that bathroom, but never had a rock icon tell me about a rock legend trying to pimp out his drug dealing son in there.  I guess we can cross that off the list of things to do in Beauty Bar.

Anyway, it was a super fun night and reasonably productive considering I was only there for a bit.  Check out all the photos from the night and the hot pics of Ellen and her crew going crazy in the back of Beauty Bar.  NSFW.

Michael Stewart is one of my favorite people in NYC.  If you have ever been to Beauty Bar, or pretty much anywhere in the East Village, I am sure you know who he is.  He turned 40 last night and despite being up for 30 hours I ventured over to Beauty Bar Brooklyn to wish him happy birthday.  Terry & Marc Alan Gray DJ’d a bunch of dancy rock and roll instead of their usual fair and the kids got down in Bushwick. I got there late and left early, but I got a few nice shots in the hour or two I was there.  Click here to see them all.  I hope you like em, and make sure you wish Mike happy birthday when you see him around.

PS. Mike please don’t have a midlife crisis.  Your whole life is a midlife crisis.  Where do you go from here?

So that is it.  The end of Rated X.  Rated X was the first party I took pictures at in New York.  I had some friends in town, and we went to the party when it was at Luke And Leroy and I took a bunch of pictures of my friends.  Then I took some photos of the hot body contest and some random people.  People started asking me where I was going to post the photos, and I had no idea.  A few months later I was taking party pictures 5 nights a week.  Rated X was where I met a number of the first girls I was seeing when I first moved to the city and it was constantly fun.  When it left Luke And Leroy and became a monthly it was never really the same.  Then again, everyone has told me that it was even better when it was on Ave B where Midway is now.  Personally I think Don Hills is a terrible place to hold a party because it is not anywhere near a Subway and it is a bit big for a lot of parties.

Last night was great though.  I saw tons of people I hadn’t seen in ages.  The hot body contest had a record 12 people in it. Michael T sang and did a T-Rex cover. Plus it was packed with all sorts of fun weirdos to take pictures of. The only problem of course is that my flash is still broken and a lot of the shots are not as good as I want them to be.  The hot body contest is particularly bad… but it does feature some things worth looking at.  Like the mother of three who got naked and made out with a 20 year old ginger kid; a man who would take off his pants, but not his shirt; the finals featured two men, one with a 2 inch penis, the other with a 9 inch one; and last but not least my friend and Gods Girl Sioux Sin who ended up tying for first.  There is a mini set of her in the photo gallery that we shot in a utility closet in the Don Hills basement.

The end of the night was pretty sad with friends and family types staying till the end and watching Michael T dance for everyone still left.  There was a last dance and a lot of applause and an after party at Beauty Bar (which I ended up skipping).  Now, I know you are all heart broken about the end of a legendary NYC party, but I have it from a good source that there might be some special Rated X’s in the future… just no more weekly/monthly type things.  So maybe we will see you all on Halloween again.

Oh God! I don’t know how I forgot.  Rated X is also known as the Panty Party and you got 2-1 drinks if you were in your underwear.  I hae been to Rated X maybe 50 times and I never once took off my pants.  Last night I did… Just to say thanks for the memories… and only like 5 people touched my dick!

Check out the very NSFW photos by clicking right here.

PS. Birthday shout outs to Darenzia, Rochelle and Karen.

 As you read yesterday Jon Spenser of Blues Explosion fame has an amazing Rockabilly group called Heavy Trash.  They played the Friends and Family opening of Beauty Bar Brooklyn on Thursday.  They were pretty fantastic.  The highlight of their set had to be when they brought the whole crowd outside and played on a car in the pouring rain.  Unfortunately my flash was dying and by the time I changed batteries they were headed inside.  I only got a few shots off but fortunately I got a shot of the cop who rolled past while they were outside with about 100 other people watching and clapping their hands. The cop just kept going though. I guess you can get away with a lot in Bushwick… Unless you are waiving a gun in the air or stabbing something they have better things to do.  Anyway it was a great set and a great way to kick off the new Beauty Bar location.

PS.  The terrible photos I took last night at my birthday extravaganza should be up late tonight.

Click here for all the Heavy Trash photos.

Fuck, it is a lazy Memorial Day weekend.  Everyone is BBQing and hanging out in the sun while I am sitting in my apartment working on shit that should have been done months ago.  But hey, at least it is done now… well some of it.  Clearly you have no idea what I am talking about but let’s just say that I am pretty jealous of my roommate being passed out drunk by 8 PM the last two days.  And while I don’t drink, I am envious of day time parties which I miss out on due to my sleep schedule that currently puts me in bed closer to noon than midnight (I slept from 1230-5pm Sunday).  Anyway, I am taking easy, not shooting much cause I have some partying to do this week.  I am hosting at Happy Endings on Tuesday and my birthday is on Friday and I am shooting the opening of the new Brooklyn Beauty Bar on Saturday for the Voice.  Plus I have to be at Dance Class on Thursdays, I am hearing rumors of naked black girls… And I am all over that.  Sorry for this rant, I am on very little sleep.  Before I get to the meat of this post, and it is slightly meaty, I just wanted to mention my birthday one more time.

Friday.  The Studio at Webster Hall.  I will be drunk.  I don’t drink except twice a year, and when I do, it is out of control.  If you have never seen me drunk, it is something to behold.  Let’s just put it this way… there is a reason I don’t drink daily.  That’s all for now.  Facebook invites and annoying texts, twitters and instant messages forthcoming.

Okay, so I have some videos to drop on you guys as I like to do from time to time and Memorial Day seems like the perfect day to do it.

Let’s start with the plug… Burning Angel recently expanded their brand with a bunch of new hardcore porn video sites.  Now while I like having naked girls on here, I try to keep this site way from actual porn because I get really sick of people who I have never met before asking me about the porn site I run.  I am pretty sure there is a big difference between a few boobs here and there and the shit my friends at Burning Angel are doing.  That being said, as part of the promotion of one of their new brands, BigBoobsAreCool.com they made a funny, safe for work trailer where my friend Misti (as seen on DBB) cures swine flu with her boobs.  That is impressive I think.  Plus talking about BA gives me a reason to plug my friend’s excellent interview with Joanna Angel.  So read that, and watch this, and sign up for this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NqqwaQa2p8[/youtube]

Next, let’s talk about torture.  This is probably not the paragraph you would normally expect to follow a plug about porn, but fuck it, it is Memorial Day.  Let’s get serious.  I am a liberal, and in my younger punk rock days, I was pretty fucking far left.  But even then, when I was at protests and talking bullshit about whatever crazy punk rockers talk about, I was still firmly a patriot.  Even with all the bullshit that is going on in our country I am proud as hell to be an American and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  So as a Patriot I am fucking incensed when I see us doing things that I believe are completely contrary to what America is all about.  Despite all the horrible things we have done as a country, we are still at least supposed to pretend to be the good guy, at least feign like we are taking the higher road.  This torture shit is fucking insane.  I think it is pretty clear if you listen to any reasonably impartial person that torture does not work and even if it can work, we shouldn’t be using it.  We are part of the Geneva Convention… We are America.  We DO NOT TORTURE. Even some of the most wacky right wing guys agree with me there.  Their disagreement is all about the definition of torture… and more specifically is waterboarding torture? It seems the answer to this question lines up almost exactly on party lines, with every single person with a (R) by their name saying it is not. One of these right wing talking heads is Howard Stern wannabe shock jock Mancow.  Mancow and I go way back because he interviewed me in 2003 about this site.  Now while I can’t stand the guy, I have to give him a lot of credit for putting his money where his mouth is.  Last week he decided to try to prove to his listeners that waterboarding was not torture.  He failed miserably. He lasted less than 10 seconds and instantly admitted that he was wrong and that it was torture.  And keep in mind while watching this video that this is not close to as bad as actual waterboarding.  He knows that he can make it stop at any minute… He has not been sleep deprived; he is not bound and blind folded and he knows that his life is not actually at risk.  Also keep in mind when you are being waterboarded professionally they put a wet gag in your mouth so it is impossible to breath or scream.  Now, after keeping all that in mind, enjoy this clip.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUkj9pjx3H0[/youtube]

Lastly, to end on a lighter note… when I met my friend Teddy (as mentioned in the last update, and many others) I did not know a damn thing about design, and certainly not about furniture design.  However after spending days and nights on the road, in the recording studio and just hanging out with the guy for 6 years I have had no choice but to become an amateur design snob. I find myself critiquing restaurant menus and yelling to myself about clothing boutiques not kerning their Helvetica. One of the biggest things that has rubbed off on me is his interest in modern furniture design.  Keep in mind I don’t have sheets on my bed, thrifted both my couches and am basically sitting on a milk crate as I type this… all the while dreaming of the day when I am going to own an Eames Lounge chair.  Teddy actually has an Eames chair tattooed on his right arm.  It is his only tattoo.  He got it for himself when he turned 20.  He told me when he turns 40 he is going to get the Lounge on his left arm.  Hopefully by then I will have one in my living room….  The below video is footage of the debut of the Eames Lounge chair.  It is an amazing interview with Charles Eames and is about 11 minutes of chair porn.  If you have no interest in this what-so-ever if nothing else watch them put the chair together around the 9 minute mark.  It is pretty sensational.

Okay, so that is it.  This post took me 53 minutes to write and I still haven’t added in the hot links yet.  This is what happens when I forget to sleep.  I write pages and pages of poorly written madness. Enjoy your holiday today.  I’m out.

I am going to say it right now.  This is not my best work.  I took nearly 6000 photos at SXSW and not all of them can be peaches.  I shot Ninjasonik the next night and the shots were great (Coming soon!).  So I am not sure why I am posting these at all except that I have a problem editing and I have pretty bad OCD and if I didn’t put them up I would probably just feel guilty.  Moving past that, their set was probably as dissapointing as my set of their set.  Some schedualing thing got messed up and SXSW pulled the plug on them after like four songs.  They were just getting warmed up.

This was part of the IHeartComix showcase which I was really excited about because the Death Set, Ninjasonik and Cerebral Ballzy were all playing together.  I got there late so I missed CB and I had to leave early to shoot the Circle Jerks so it was all pretty upsetting especially after SXSW screwing over Ninjasonik.  Franki Chan was less than pleased.  There was a highlight though and that was Jasmine Solano who fucking killed it.  She got up on stage out of the crowd and looked kinda lost before fucking everyone up swiftly.  The photos of her still suck but it was a great moment.  I just wish they got to finish their set.  Dig it.

Ninjafuckingsonik… Sonic Fucking Ninjas.