My punk cover band Fucking Bullshit is playing at Lit Lounge on 2nd Ave tomorrow (Thursday Sept 1st) at 11pm right before the dance party NC-17.  I feel pretty comfortable promoting the show after our last one went so well but we have only practiced twice since then so who know what will happen. I can promise you this… if you give a shit about punk rock from the early 80’s you will have a blast.  You will also get to see me drink which is a rare delight and I will fall over a lot and try to hurt the audience. At the very least it will be something to see. If you wan’t to know more about the band, see the songs we cover and watch some live footage you should check out the new half assed Fucking Bullshit website.

Now I have been bugging people about this show via Facebook and shit and I don’t really think I need to be blasting this shit to everyone on my website considering most of you don’t live in NYC and are just here for tits or juggalos or something else but last night I made a video promoting the show that I want you to see.

Fucking Bullshit is a cover band, so if we are going to make a commercial for a show we might as well cover a commercial. In the early 80’s Black Flag used to run radio commercials in LA for their shows and they compiled 17 minutes of these into one track called Crass Commercialism on their album Everything Went Black. We went ahead and covered the first commercial on the track mostly because it was the only one on YouTube.  Check it out.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSERy8Iox30[/youtube]

So now that we decided on a commercial to rip off the next step was for our bassist Brian Grosz, a professional voice artist, to record a parody of the commercial.  He sent it to me yesterday afternoon and the only move from there was to obviously shave my head.  I decided the punk rock thing for me to do was to shave my head for the show and I thought it would make a good visual to go along with the audio Brian recorded. My roommate recorded me doing it in the mirror which sort of references the Black Flag album cover for Damaged which coincidentally is the background music to the commercial. And then I spent way too long trying to edit it together into this video flyer.

So watch this shit and then watch us perform another Black Flag song and then finally go to the show tomorrow night. 11PM at Lit. Oh, and it costs $6 which is probably too much for you elitist hipster vip fucks to pay… Fuck off and die, Oi!, etc.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imuRnJyW_Qs[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiuI0yeItM[/youtube]

Just when you thought you were finally finished with my Insane Clown Posse blog posts this happens….

I had a few people hit me up today already asking what I think of the news of the new Jack White produced Insane Clown Posse track “Leck Mich Im Arsch” which samples a Mozart song of the same name.

I am not really sure why any on is surprised about this. Both Jack White and ICP are from Detroit and rep their city really fucking hard and they both enjoy doing collaborations with people you would never expect them to work with. ICP has worked with Alice Cooper, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Snoop, Kid Rock and a lot more while Jack White has done stuff with Loretta Lynn, Electric Six, Alicia Keys and as part of this same Blue 7″ Series Stephen Colbert.

The real thing here is that Jack White knows two things. 1) This record will generate an insane amount of media attention for him, his record label and his singles collection and 2) he has so much fucking street cred that not even ICP can fuck that shit up. Jack White is one of the last rockstars in this country and producing a single for ICP isn’t going to do much to fuck up his image. Personally I think it’s kinda hilarious and I bet most people feel the same way.

Also this record is about promoting his real Third Man Records artists to a bigger audience. In this case JEFF The Brotherhood who appear as the backing band. On the Stephen Colbert single he was backed by The Black Belles who have their own solo song on the B-Side.

And lastly this record is about promoting Third Man Records on a local level. The release is tied to The MI Fest in Michigan where Third Man Records has their own stage and a mobile record store.  The actual record store in Detroit will no doubt get a shit load of new juggalo visitors who might be interested in other things Third Man has to offer. As people like Tech N9ne, the Dayton Family and Coolio know… there is money to be made marketing yourself to juggalos.

Now the one problem I have with this collaboration is that the song is pretty fucking awful. I know most of you think that everything ICP does is fucking awful but as someone who as recently as yesterday was willingly listening to ICP in their car I can tell you that this is not ICP’s best work. The track is a one note gag which is pretty much just the idea that Mozart actually wrote a song called Lick My Ass, which admittedly is hilarious, but there isn’t really much there for a song. Jack White’s production on it is questionable as well, maybe it’s just the digital release but it sounds really muddy and the guitars seem high in the mix, almost peaking.  But then again Jack White knows a shit load more about music than I do so maybe I will just shut the fuck up and buy the record anyway…

Check out the teaser and the track below…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyzjVL5tFn0[/youtube]

I recently started a punk rock cover band called Fucking Bullshit with a few friends. I have probably mentioned it on here and I know I have mentioned them on Twitter & Tumblr but I haven’t talked about the band too much because most of my readers do not give a fuck about my shitty punk band. That being said, it’s time for a Fucking Bullshit update.

When I turned 30 I realized I was really fucking old and I had never been in a band before. I was in this fake band in high school but we never actually played any shows which was probably for the best. I think we only had five songs anyway. But the reason I have never been in a band is because I have no musical talent. Not only can I not play an instrument but I am a uniquely terrible singer. I cannot hit notes and my timing is more than terrible. I figured the only way I could possibly be in a band would be to start a punk band.

I listened to exclusively punk from the day Kurt Cobain died until I was went to college that completely lacked a punk scene. Punk is pretty much made me the person I am today. I continued to listen to punk over the following decade but it wasn’t until the last couple years that I started really getting back into it.

Anyway it took me over a year to put a band together but I found my self a guitarist who is playing bass, a guitarist who is playing drums and another guitarist who is playing guitar. Our drummer played drums for a band on the record label that I started when I was 15 but he hasn’t played drums in 15 years. Our bassist is a guy I met online 10 years ago who is currently a voice over artist.  And our guitarist is a pretty legit punk dude who is an animator for Metalocolypse. He is also the youngest member of the band at 28.  We are a bunch of over the hill washed up punk rockers.

So we started a cover band.  No one over the age of 20 should be writing punk lyrics. We just don’t have that angst anymore.  I don’t think anyone wants to hear songs about freelance clients not paying on time or about lack of affordable health care. So we started pulling our favorite 80’s punk and hardcore tunes. We tossed in a few GG Alin tracks and suddenly we had a 14 song set set.

We played our first show at Hank’s Saloon in Park Slope on Thursday night.  The place was packed and I got drunk which I almost never do. The show went way better than I thought it would and everyone there had a pretty great time. All my friends seemed maybe a little too impressed that I could make for a decent front man. But hey, I knew I could fuck shit up… I just didn’t know if I could manage to sing at the right parts… Turns out I can’t really do that, but the fucking shit up makes up for it.

Anyway, thanks to a man named Jay Fingers we have actual video proof of the show and I figured I would post a few of my favorite videos. I hope you watch at least one of them, I think they are a lot of fun and at the very least the S.O.A video is hilariously sexist. We will be having more shows soon, you can like Fucking Bullshit on Facebook for details. I hop all the washed up 30 year old punk rockers like us come out for our next show…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P8X0LVDciI[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiuI0yeItM[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Do05jFIk8c[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzyKpi8DV8E[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POLVl3Ab1bM[/youtube]

One of the weirder things things that has happened in my life is a video I made talking about a method I used for cheating when I was in high school that got over 500,000 views on YouTube and got me interviewed on Good Morning America and Japanese TV. It was also played on Bill O’Reilly and I turned down an appearance on Dr. Phil. Seriously. I made the video to participate in an online discussion of cheating methods. I had no idea that anyone would ever see it.

Ever since then I have become sort of hero to small children everywhere. Not a day goes by where some middle school delinquent calls me a genius via YouTube comment.  It weirded me out at first but now I just think it’s funny. But I feel slightly responsible to these kids who message me every day asking for new videos so yesterday after drinking several 5-Hour Energy drinks I decided to make a video telling kids to eat terrible food all the time.

I am on this terrible diet right now of nothing but like fruits and vegetables and the occasional bit of nuts or meat for protein. I am actually getting used to it, but I kinda feel like an asshole eating raw spinach instead of candy and hamburgers like normal.  You see for my entire adult life I have eaten nothing but terrible food. I once nearly ate a 5lb hamburger. I mean seriously, my role models are competitive eaters.  But just in the last year or two that shit has been catching up to me.  I realized that I weighed nearly 40 lbs more than I did in high school and I sort of flipped out.  I have dropped more than 15 lbs since I started the diet and I have started gaining muscle again and everything is going great, but it got me thinking.

Stop telling kids not to eat McDonalds.  That shit tastes good when you are 10 and you can just worry about getting healthy when it’s old enough to matter. Feed kids candy and milkshakes all the time and as long as they can fit in their desks at school I am sure they can worry about it later.  They play sports and have good metabolisms, they should enjoy eating like gluttonous pigs.  So I decided to make this video championing my cause. I hope you enjoy it and then go out and feed a small child something made out of meat and or corn syrup…. Or hopefully both! Corn dogs all around…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoCZvJpnN00[/youtube]

Hello my friends. I am in Austin, TX and town is fireworks free due to threat of “dangerous” wildfires.  It sucks because I am missing the Coney Island hot dog eating contest for the first time seven years.  But on the plus side I am having a completely insane time driving from Los Angeles to NYC.

I don’t have time for a full recap as I am supposedly about to go on a boat somewhere but let me break down the trip a little bit.  I just wanted to let you know I was still alive.

My friend Whitney decided to move back to New Jersey for the summer and reached out on Twitter asking if anyone wanted to help her drive her car back.  I don’t know Whitney that well but I do know that she parties really hard and likes to get naked a lot. She is also pretty hot.  All of these things make for a pretty good traveling parter.

The first night we drove to Scottsdale, AZ and my one friend there decided to get drunk and pass out before I could meet up with her so we ended finding a pool party at the W Hotel and just went swimming.  We got out of town early and just drove until we wanted to fall asleep and we ended up in Ft. Stockton, Texas where neither of our phones got reception.

The drive through Arizona, New Mexico and West Texas is beautiful but also pretty fucking boring so we amused ourselves by hitting up roadside attractions like the mysterious “The Thing?” and taking topless photos of Whitney every time we stopped.

On the way to Austin her friends kept posting planking photos on Twitter and she decided that she couldn’t be beaten so we made a few stopps as she planked cows and a tractor and we even broke into a farm so she could plank a broken airplane. I even got my plank on at some state park in Texas.

Anyway we finally arived in Austin on Saturday and I was planning on crashing with my friend Isabel for a few days but she decided to go to Mexico for no reason and since I don’t have my passport I just am staying at her house.  Austin has been pretty nuts so far as we have been partying with Whitney’s stripper friends and terrorizing local bars. There as been a lot of nudity and madness and fun things like that and I have shot a ton of film. I also performed live band punk rock karaoke and got pretty much completely naked at a party last night.

I haven’t taken too many photos digitally and I am going to do a huge update about all this shit when I finally get back to NYC this week, but in the mean time you need to follow my Twitter and follow my Tumblr for crazy photos and tales from the road!

But anyway, Happy 4th of July and I hope you New Yorkers are enjoying the hotdog eating contest without me. We are headed to New Orleans tonight or tomorrow so I think I will just leave you with this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-cT6SwFIHA[/youtube]

Not updating for five fucking days is completely unacceptable and I need to apologize to you, but really apologize to myself for that shit. I have three sets edited and ready to go but I haven’t had the hour it takes to do a proper post. I was in DC and Richmond, VA for a few days and I was with people pretty much that whole time and didn’t have time to do anything.  Well I just got to LA and I am in a pretty stable living situation while I am here and updating while it may be less frequent than while I am in town, should still be every other day at the least.  I would get up some photos right now but I woke up at 7:30 am yesterday and as it is 7pm right now I have been up for nearly 36 hours and that seems insane even for me.

So, in conclusion, I will have shit for you tomorrow and probably Friday too.  Accept that and enjoy that and know that lots of naked girl photos are coming very soon.

Enjoy this video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsHgpS2lug8[/youtube]

This All My Friends Are In Bands series is getting a little out of hand I think.  My friends clearly are making way too many music videos or something.  It’s okay, I gotta do my best to let everyone know about them right?  One day if I ever finally do the redesign of this site I have been planning for years I can post one video at a time when it comes up, like I do on my Tumblr, but until then these bulk video updates are the solution.  So let’s see… Who do we have first?

Let’s start with the new Cerebral Ballzy video Drug Myself Dumb. They got a new video out where they all go to Vegas and take LSD. I haven’t actually talked to them about it but I am pretty fucking sure they are actually on Acid for most of the video. It’s a pretty good concept for a video and a fucking great song if you are into good punk rock, which I of course am.  Also I should mention that yesterday I had a small role (one line) in my friends HBO TV show called Girls that will be out in January and I was wearing my Ballzy Shirt on the show.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FbENveaRvM&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

Speaking of drugs, if you follow my Tumblr you have seen several photos I posted of my dude Ease DaMan smoking meth out of a light bulb. I tried meth about ten years ago when it was called “Crystal” and it was a cheap club drug and no one was thinking about faces of meth.  I thought it was pretty boring and not scary at all.  Ease wanted to dispel some scary meth myths and one night he hit me up to take photos of him doing it. He smoked over $200 worth of meth and I took pictures. He came to the same conclusion I did. It’s fucking boring.  What is not boring is jumping out of a plane. Ease jumped out of a plane and turned the footage of it into a video for his song We Do Drugs of his “Average Size Penis” mix tape.

Next up we have a video directed by my friend Phillippe Grenade. It’s by a band called Silent Rider and the song is called I Was A Bomb.  I don’t really love the music and I can’t say much about that side of it, but the video is fucking beautiful and really really creepy, not unlike Phillippe himself. And be warned if you click that last link, it is pretty NSFW.  The video is just mildly NSFW and you will undoubtedly enjoy it.

And lastly we have for you the new Ninjasonik video featuring my dude Mr. Starcity. The track is called Bloodymary and you should probably just watch it. The beat is pretty minimalistic and it features my friend Lena as a dominatrix. It’s pretty nuts. I gotta go to band practice now so one day I can make a video so I am gonna get the fuck out of here. I’m done talking watch the fucking video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSkh_Wukjm0[/youtube]

Today we are going to take a break from photos and just regale you with stories.  I was thinking about what I was going to update with today and I realized I didn’t really have anything which led me to realize that I haven’t shot many parties or anything really. But I feel like the last week or so has been pretty productive and interesting so I guess I will just tell you a few stories and you will just have to imagine the pictures in your head… at least until I get my film developed.

I think my week of reasonable productivity began last Sunday when I photographed Veruca James naked in public.  Those are the last pictures I took that you have actually seen.  On that shoot I found out that my friend Colin had died two weeks prior and no one had told me. I missed the Facebook invite to his funeral. I was on very little sleep and while I had been expecting his death for some time it really had an effect on me. I had been planning a trip to Virginia to go to his memorial service for a few months ever since he checked into hospice and finding out that he died and I didn’t know about it really fucked up my head.  I wanted to see a movie to get my mind of things so I tried to get my friend Promise to go see Pirates 4 with me because it would allow me to zone out for a while but she wanted to see something with a little more substance so we went and checked out a movie called Blank City about the No Wave and Cinema of Transgression underground NYC film movements of the late 70’s and early 80’s.  The movie was so inspiring and so depressing to me. Here were these people making so much art and collaborating and just living in NYC when it was this burned out shell of a place where you could live for $50 a month. And here I am 30 years later taking photos of drunk people instead of making something relevant or important.

So this post ended up being obscenely long so I need to create a jump. If you want to keep reading click below unless of course you came to this post directly making these instructions just confusing and unnecessary.

(Read the article)

So on Friday Insane Clown Posse played in New York City for the first time in over a decade. I was there to take pictures as you all might expect from one of the worlds foremost juggalo photographers. After the show I then went on a god damned Insane Clown Posse cruise ship and road around with ICP for 4 hours in the middle of the night. It was clearly an intense experience.

I had two updates planned. I was going to post one on Sunday and then one on Monday. However as I was on my way home to get the first of the two updates up I found out that Osama Bin Laden was up and I spent an hour watching the news before heading down to Ground Zero.  I ended up getting those pictures up late last night and my plan was to get the first of the two posts up today.  Well it turns out for some reason I agreed to head out of town with Dances With White Girls, Prince Terrence and their ladies and now I am about to head to Indianapolis on my way to Kentucky on my way to Cleveland and I will be back in NYC by Monday. Evidently we have to drive 12 hours right now which seems insane.

Whatever the case, I am on the move and the pictures get delayed another day.  Hopefully I will have a moment on the road to get this shit up for you guys but in the mean time I do have a video someone made from the photos I took on the Juggalo Midnight Cruise that were posted on the Village Voice.  Ill get the rest up ASAP. Enjoy and Whoop Whoop.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhwwPuAQ9GQ[/youtube]