Here is some more madness from the NFL Draft.

While I was waiting in line I heard some chants of “Fuck Tom Brady”.  I turned to see who people were shouting at and it was some asshole holding a mic wearing a hideous Tom Bundchen Brady throwback jersey. As I began to shout obscenities at both him and the Jets fans he was talking to I realized it was none other than comedian Nick Stevens a guy who I vaguely knew years ago when I was hanging out in the NYC comedy scene.  I at once started chanting “Fuck Nick Stevens” but for some reason the chant didn’t really catch on.

Nick was interviewing people as Paul “Fitzy” Fitzgerald, an asshole Boston sports fan (ed note: redundant).  It’s pretty much a given that the only thing worse than a Philly sports fan is a Boston sports fan and Nick plays the heel well.  I mean seriously, the Patriots were garbage for thity fucking years and all of a sudden everyone in Boston acts like they are life long die hard Pats fans.  Where the fuck were you guys when Marino was embarassing all of New England touchdown by touchdown? And don’t get me fucking started on those low life Red Sox fans… Honestly I don’t give a shit about basketball but I route against the Celtics just because I know when they lose another douche bag Pats/Sox homer is crying himself to sleep somewhere north of NYC. Fuck you all.

Oh, sorry, I was on a tiny tangent.  Fitzy is actually a pretty fucking funny dude, and is well aware of the contempt the rest of NFL fans have for him and his ilk. I hope after the Caps win a few Stanley Cups I can feel the same wrath on the way to MSG to watch Ovechkin make Sean Avery cry orange and blue tears.

Shit, again, off on a tangent.  Just watch this video, it’s really funny if you like football, and if not, you can just watch me dressed up like a skinny jeans wearing jock making a fool of my self.  I show up in the background a few times, but I have speaking rolls around 2:35 and again at 3:24. Enjoy.

PS. Fuck the Bruins too.  Just sayin’.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udBXVIPYiUo[/youtube]

One of the main reasons I had issues updating the last few days was because I was geeking out about Pro-Football.  As you might know I co-run a Miami Dolphins fan club in NYC called DolfansNYC.  Yes, I am aware that is an amazingly weird thing to do, especially for a hipster douchebag nightlife icon such as myself. But very few people I know like football, and I need someone to talk touchdowns with, so I started a group of people to watch games with every Sunday and it is a lot of fun, so screw you.

Anyway, Wednesday we waited in line from 5pm until nearly 11pm when we got our tickets.  On Thursday we got there around 330 and they let us in around 630. I didn’t get home until almost midnight.  On Friday I got there around four and watched until the Dolphins picked and got home early enough to take a nap and go out last night.  But still the whole thing took up a lot of afternoons normally reserved for me doing shit, but it was a lot of fun, and we would have been on ESPN except the camera near us fucked up seconds after the camera guy told us we were about to go live. I am not someone who cares about getting on TV like that, but I did want to get the club out there to spread the word to Phins fans in NYC that are watching the games at home in hiding. And although we didn’t make it on TV, at least we did end up on NFL.com.

Anyway, I didn’t take a ton of pictures, but if you want to see some of them, you can click here and check it all out. I know you guys are going to be really upset but sorry, there is no nudity in this set…

I haven’t updated much over the holidays mostly because I haven’t had anything to post. I havent done anything all week.  I went to a Washington Capitals game last night and I watched 20 hours of Heroes in the last 2 days, but I haven’t taken any photos or anything. But I do have a bunch of Dolphins stuff for you. This could have been three posts, but I decided to do you guys a favor and bunch it all up so it seems like I am posting less about football and more about drunk and naked people.  But don’t worry, there is only one more week of football after today so this site should be football free all spring long.  But until then, let’s get into it.

Firstly, and most importantly, the organization I co-founded, DolfansNYC has a new logo. My friend and brilliant artist, James Callahan, drew it up for us.  I think it is insanely bad ass.

Secondly, I have two weeks of photos for you that I haven’t bothered to post.  You can see photos from DolfansNYC meet ups at Third & Long from the Jacksonville game we won, and the Titans game we lost.

Lastly, if you care about any of this, click here and watch the Dolphins 5th Quarter Live Show. It will make my friends in the Dolphins organization happy… and it is a pretty cool show if you are  Dolphins fan.

Okay, that’s it. There are some photos below. I will be back in NY soon.  See you then.

I hadn’t really been able to sleep for a few days and I didn’t manage to fall asleep until 10am this morning.  The combination somehow caused me to sleep until nearly 10pm tonight.  Due to this, the two galleries I shot last night are not even edited much less online.  Luckily, I have two mini updates to post right now and I will just save the Friday night party pictures for tomorrow.

My first update is just more pictures from my DolfansNYC events.  Don’t worry, after these there only 5 more weeks of football and I can stop pestering you with aqua and orange themed posts.  Last week we played the Buffalo Bills who appeared to be one of the worst teams in football.  If we had won that game it would have put us in the drivers seat as far as our chances of winning the AFC East.  Unfortunately we lost and now are pretty much out of the play off hunt.  This caused me to stay in bed for nearly 24 hours. But I think we should just move on.  Nothing to see here folks… Unless you want to look at the pictures from the latest DolfansNYC event which you can see here.

Ps. If you ARE interested in football, or are just really bored, you should check out the 5th Quarter Show.

So you guys read about it, and saw the pictures and now here’s the video. My man against burger match with the infamous Beast of South Florida.  I am not going to say a whole lot about it since I blogged about it before, but here is a quick refresher.  I was in South Florida for a meeting of nerds who run Miami Dolphins websites. A bunch of us were gathered to celebrate the Dolphins victory at Kim Bokamper’s sports bar, when I saw the Beast on the menu. It was a 3 lb burger with 8 strips of bacon, 4 eggs, 4 slices of cheese and a stale loaf of bread for a bun.  You can read about exactly what was going on in my head right here.  And with out further ado, DolfansNYC presents… Igor Vs. The Beast.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucHdIBvAZEg[/youtube]

Well my vacation is over and I am going to be officially back in action on Monday.  If you are reading this before 11am I am on a train headed to NYC.  I needed to get back for my Dolphins game.  And I have some DolfansNYC photos from last week I need to get up so I will use this one post to kill two contentless posts with one stone.  I am both updating you with what’s going on with the site and posting pictures that you don’t want to see.  I think that makes for a solid bullshit post.  DC was fun, I hung out with a bunch of random girls I met in NYC on Halloween.  They took me to some parties, good times were had. But yeah, despite me doing nothing for this site over the past couple of days I got a lot of work done on my portfolio and came up with an idea for a photo show.  Let’s just hope it changes your life for the better one day… although it probably won’t.

Moving on, here are the pictures from the Phins vs. Panthers game last Thursday, and here is the accompanying video.  See you tomorrow.

Most of you can just skip right past this update. In fact, in just a little while I am going to be posting some crazy picutres from the Andrew WK appearance last night at Happy Endings and some info about a new party starting Friday. But until then, once again, I have to talk about football.

Years ago, for the exact same reason that I posted the above statement, I started a Miami Dolphins fan site. I wanted to keep my crazy Dolphins ramblings off this site. Soon after, I was invited by the Miami Dolphins down to Miami for a conference of Dolphins webmasters. As geeky as this all sounds it was a ton of fun. The Dolphins hooked it up and we got to meet with the coaches, personnel people and CEO’s that make the Dolphins one of the most recognized NFL franchises on the planet. 5 years later we are back again, this time for Web Weekend VI.

I was on vacation and trying to have fun, but at the same time I needed to shoot pictures, because really, if I just go down there and hang out, its hardly a business trip and writing it off my taxes would not seem right. I didn’t shoot a TON of pictures over the three day period, but I did shoot some, and I did make a bunch of connections that should help out DolfansNYC. I hung out with Shed Dawgs, I ate a giant burger and I watched the Dolphins beat up on the Tampa Bay Bucs. It was great trip.

I photographed our stadium tour and the locker room tour. I photographed the meeting with GM Jeff Ireland, former player Keith Byars, CEO Mike Dee, Coach Tony Sporano and current player Patrick Cobbs. I also shot photos of the tailgate, pregame shots from the field and a couple shots from our seats. You can check them all out by clicking here.

And for those interested, check out my pictures from Web Weekend IV and Web Weekend V.

As you may know, I am back in NYC at last. And what you may also know, if you keep up with my Twitter, is that whilst I was in South Florida I attempted a gastronomic feat that only four men had ever succeeded in. I tried to take down “The Beast”.  The Beast is a giant cheeseburger that is served at a sports bar near Ft. Lauderdale called Bokampers.  I went there with some of my fellow Miami Dolphins fans to watch the Sunday night football game and celebrate the Dolphins victory earlier in the day. As soon as I saw the Beast on the menu I know I had to take it down.  The Beast consists of 3lbs of hamburger, 4 eggs, 8 strips of bacon, 4 slices of American cheese and an entire loaf of bread for the bun.  It cost’s $30 but if you eat it all in under an hour you get it for free.  You also get your picture on the wall.  Out of around 80 attempts, only four people made the wall.

I ate the eggs first and then ate the meat by itself with a fork and knife. I had my doubts when I saw how big it was, but I was crusin. After 25 minutes all the meat and eggs were gone.  The giant loaf of bread was all that stood between me and immortality.  I was pretty full by this time and didn’t think I had much of a chance, but I was balling up the bread and dipping it in water and it was going down pretty well.  I got up to take a piss and when I came back I knew I had this thing beat.  10 minutes later I wasn’t so sure. I still had nearly 20 minutes left, but I just couldn’t eat it fast enough. Food would just not go down.  The area just below my chest had puffed out in a quite inhuman manor. Everything tasted different. The texture of the soggy bread was suddenly unbearable. I was in trouble.  When there was only 5 minutes left everyone was gathered around me chanting. The manager came over.  I knew if I got close enough I could just shove the rest of the bread in my mouth.  I only had a little bit left.  I tried to just swallow what I had in my mouth. I took another bite.  With 2 minutes left and what amounted a slice of bread left I got dizzy. I collapsed on the table and pushed the plate away knocking over my water glasses in the process. I spit the bit I had into a napkin and fell to the floor trying not to puke. At this I failed. As they say in the competitive eating world, I had a reversal of fortune.
We were on a deck outside so I pulled myself up, got to the edge of the deck and puked over it. Because I had been eating nothing but bread and water for the last thirty minutes, my vomit was nothing but a thick tube of soggy bread.  It was like puking several rolls of raw cookie dough. It almost felt like I took a shit out of my mouth and it was nearly as gratifying. I immediately sat down and finished my bread. Everyone around me was horrified. Most of them had scattered. My friend Michelle was hiding in the next room. I had been defeated.

The next 30 hours I felt as horrible I could possibly feel. I thought I was going to pop. I could barely sleep and  the plane ride home was horrible. I still don’t feel great and I have been popping Tums like they were candy. Still, next year when I go back to Florida, I am going to try again.  As my friend told me right afterwards, The Beast is my Apolo Creed, and Rocky will have his day.  See you, next year, beast.

Hi. I am in Miami. Well, closer to Ft. Lauderdale actually.  Am I partying? Hitting South Beach? Photographing models?  No. I am at a conference for people who run websites dealing with the Miami Dolphins. I will explain more about this when I get back in a post that you will no doubt skip on your way down the page looking for naked girls.  Sorry for the inconvienice.  Anyway, they have us up at 8am everyday which is my normal bed time, so I need to go to fucking sleep already and I played football in a pool for the last several hours and my life hurts.  Here are the photos that I took at the last Dolphins game for my Dolphins website. Yeah, I know, you guys think I am weird for being a football geek and they think I am weird for shooting hipster parties.  I guess I just don’t fit in anywhere. I am going to go cry myself to sleep now… or at least just fucking go to sleep.  See you Monday.