I just wanted to give a shout out to this bar called Third And Long that I have been to the last couple of Sundays. As you should know by now I am a huge fan of the Miami Dolphins. I have spent the last two years watching football with the Two Michelles at this Patriots bar called the Hairy Monk. I always hated it but they are really the only Dolphins fans I know, and we had our own corner. Last weekend though we were given word of a spot just up the street where Dolphins fans were gathering. That bar is Third And Long. Last week I thought the Michelles were at the game in Toronto. But Tall Michelle called me in the second quarter to tell me that only short was in Toronto and she was at this newly established Dolphins hang out. I jumped in a cab at half time and ended up making it all the way from Brooklyn to 3rd and 35th in about 20 min and only missed two plays. The bar was great and the Dolphins fans were dominant. We had our own section and I cheered till I lost my voice. That was two weeks ago.

On this past Sunday I woke up so excited to make it to Third And Long. When I got there it was only Dolphins fans. Short Michelle had made a big sign for us and we settled in to a loud and exciting afternoon. The Dolphins won again, that’s 7 out of 8 wins in a row. Two more and we are in the playoffs.   They were taking pictures of all of us and chatting it up. I think they were really happy to see a big crowd in there and of of the guys told us that since the Skins were pretty much out of the playoffs, he is jumping on the Dolphins bandwagon. We are glad to have him aboard. The only problem with the bar is that they don’t serve food so I had to get food during half time and bring it in. Yes, the bar is BYOF. Bring you own food.

I got a cheesesteak from Carl’s Steaks which despite being run by Jets fans is one of the best cheesesteaks I have ever had in my life. Best in NYC for sure. I am on a diet right now and had been good all week, it made the steak even better. Of course as soon as I finished my food a catering company came in and set up all this food in the back. The owner of the bar, just decided to buy everyone food. I had just eaten, and I am on a diet, but there were wings, ribs and pulled pork. Not to mention a bunch of sides and deserts. It was such a sick spread. I had to eat even more. I had 4 wings, 3 ribs and a lot of BBQ and coleslaw. Plus a cookie and a brownie. It was one of the great eating experiences of my life. And I still managed to lose like 5 lbs over the last 10 days.

So, LONG story short, Third And Long is my new favorite place on earth. They run a blog which my Dolphins shoes made the front page of (see below) and it is pretty entertaining. Also on Monday’s they have a recession special where you can get mugs of beer for $1. That is pretty brilliant. It makes me want to take up drinking. Speaking of not drinking; Since they don’t serve food, and I don’t drink, I feel totally guilty enjoying myself there and especially with all the free food. So I bought a Sprite and decided to pay $5 for it even though I don’t really drink soda. I hope maybe this blog will convince some of you guys to go there and spend money for me. I will be rallying more Dolphins fans so that will help ease my conscience.

Oh, on an unrelated note, which is going to be mentioned on an upcoming blog soon, I have a Facebook group now. You should check that out.

When I write up movies, I tend to write up ones that you probably aren’t going to see on your own. So when I talk about them, I have a weird dilemma. I want to talk like the film nerd I am, name dropping directors and films and such like I would to other film nerds, but at the same time, I have to talk to an audience who probably does not give a fuck about Asia Extreme or German New Wave or Exploitation film. So I guess for this movie I will do a little of both. Let’s start with answering the question: What is a Spaghetti Western?

Spaghetti Westerns were Westerns made by Italian’s shot in Spain, primarily in the 1970’s. They used Italian actors to play Mexicans in the west. They also employed international actors and had them all speaking different languages to each other. The most well known of these movies were the Leone/Eastwood “Man With No Name” films… A Fistful of Dollars, A Few Dollars More and Good The Bad And The Ugly. In these films Clint Eastwood spoke English to the Italian actors speaking Italian. When the film was released in the States, Eastwood’s dialogue remained his own, but the Italian actors had their voices dubbed into English. This was reversed for the Italian releases. These films were generally low budget, but often ultra violent making them especially interesting to American audiences. These movies gained significant influence in the world of American filmmaking.

So the next thing we need to talk about is Yojimbo. Yojimbo was a samurai film made in 1961 staring Toshiro Mifune made by the legend Akira Kurosawa in 1961. It was about a samurai who comes to a small town that is stuck in a war between two rival gangs who run gambling houses. Yojimbo convinces one gang to hire him for protection and then plays the two gangs against each other, getting money on both ends. Despite my love for Kurosawa and Mifune it is not one of my top 5 favorite Samurai films… however two of it’s remakes are two of my favorite movies of all time.

The first of these was the previously mentioned A Fistful of Dollars in 1964. This put Spaghetti Westerns on the map and made both Eastwood and Sergio Leone famous. That trilogy might be my favorite of all trilogy. Sitting here thinking about that seems insane, but I cannot honestly think of a three movie series that I like better. Maybe if you count Park Chan Wook’s Vengance films as a trilogy… or discount Planet Of The Apes 2 and 5… or Nightmare On Elm St 2,4,5,6 and Freddy Vs Jason… Or started watching the Godfather series and started taking a shot every time someone got shot and by the time you got to the third film you were passed out drunk and you woke up to the credits. Or quite possibly if you consider Wayne’s World Bill And Ted 3. But I don’t think you can do any of these things, so let it be said that The Man With No Name Trilogy is my favorite Trilogy ever. Apologies to Bruce Campbell.

Let’s move on… Only 2 years later a bad ass motherfucker named Sergio Corbucci decided to remake A Fistful Of Dollars… only this time he added more blood. You know that scene in Reservoir Dogs when Mr. Blonde cuts off that cops ear? Well he stole that from Corbucci’s remake 1966 Django. Corbucci, while not as well known as Leone, is probably just as amazing, and definitely way more fucked up. I will go right ahead and say that the ending to his film The Great Silence is one of the top 5 best endings in film history. (I blogged about it here.) Anyway… Django is probably not as good as A Fistful Of Dollars, but it is certainly bad ass, and Frank Nero could probably take Eastwood in a fight… or a gun fight.

Okay so let’s see what we have here…. Japanese samurai film, turned into Italian western, turned into ultra-violent Italian western… Fast forward 40 years and meet Takeshi Miike. Miike is a revolutionary Japanese Asian Extreme director who has made at least 3 of the top 10 most fucked up films I have ever seen. He decides to turn this Japanese samurai film turned ultra-violent Spaghetti Western into… An ultra-violent Japanese Sukiyaki Western with a hint of samurai swordplay. Sukiyaki is a Japanese noodle dish which is I guess the closest thing Japan has to spaghetti. This is hilarious. The film is called Sukiyaki Western Django and is a remake of… well… Django… and A Fistful Of Dollars… and Yojimbo…

The film is extremely fast paced and out of control and makes very little sense… like pretty much every Miike film. It is completely fucking insane and is very different from the other films. The plot line is basically the same as the other films… this time the main character comes between two rival treasure seeking gangs and according to little text tags at the beginning and end of the movie it takes place a few hundred years after Yojimbo and a few decades before Django. (UPDATE: I was wrong about this.  Check the comments on the post for details.) There are clear references to Django and a sword fight scene that references Yojimbo. One of the characters is names Akira which is assumed to be a reference to Akria Kurosawa until in his second of two cameo appearances Quentin Tarantino explains that he called his son Akria because he is a big Anime nerd. The film veers off course from the original plots as well, as the hero does not really play both sides… he mostly just fights against everyone for no real apparent reason. There is also the addition of an ass kicking female character which is completely absent from all the previous films. And lastly, instead of being dubbed into English or Subtitled, all the actors speak English… completely marred by thick Japanese (and in some cases Chinese) accents. It is pretty impossible to tell what they are saying some times, especially when everyone in the theater is crying laughing. I think this just adds to the confusion and bewilderment of this hilarious action packed remake of a remake of a remake of a remake. That being said, I can do nothing but recommend this film whole heartedly when it comes out in wide release later this summer.

Lastly, I must mention that there is another A Fistful Of Dollars remake (well it is closer to Fist than it is Yojimbo) called Last Man Standing (directed by Walter Hill of The Warriors fame) which was a Bruce Willis bomb that is actually pretty fucking awesome. Excluding Deer Hunter it is probably the best Christopher Walken film that features Walken in anything much more than a cameo. Sorry this is another tangent in a way too long post, but Christopher Walken has been in some of the worst movies in history. I know everyone loves him, but look at his IMDB. Outside of True Romance, Pulp Fiction and Waynes World his film career is fucking embarrassing. What does it say when the thing you are most known for is a SNL sketch?

Okay, I have ranted too long. Just watch all the trailers… in reverse chronological order after the jump…

(Read the article)

Converse seems to be reaching out to us downtown hipsters. First Bronques shot their ad campaign and now they have pasted posters all over downtown featuring people like Kid Sister, MGMT, Santogold, and my VA brothers N.E.R.D. Santogold, N.E.R.D. and that dude from the Stroke’s even teamed up to write a song for Converse called “My Drive Thru”. On top of that they asked hipster promoter extraordinaire Andy Shaw to get them a list of people to send free shoes. As the amateur sneaker head that I am I could have not been more excited to have made that list. Not only am I getting free high tops, but my existence has been validated because for once I am getting free swag that is not pornography DVDs. (Not that I mind the porn… Thx Eon!)

So yes downtown, we are being marketed to, and I love marketing. And I love free stuff. And since the whole point of sending out free sneakers is that they can get them in the hands of “early adapters” and “connectors” and other exciting marketing terms like that. So I figured I would do them one better than just wearing the shoes in public, I would blog about them, cause that will make them happy and maybe it will make them so happy that they will want to send me some of the Kurt Cobain high top Chucks that I would have murdered someone for in 1993. And if not it will still give me a chance to blog about shoes, which is something I would do a lot more if I could afford it.

Anyway, I have never owned a pair or Converse shoes that were not Chuck Taylors. But from 1992-1999 I am pretty sure I wore nothing else. I had all sorts of crazy colors but I pretty much only wore black high tops. I wrote A and V on the tips of the shoes representing Alexandria, VA my home town. After a few months, everyone I knew was rocking the AV. I once saw a girl I had never seen before and she was rocking the AV’s, but they were facing her, instead of facing away. I mentioned this to her and she got in my face about it saying I did not know what I was talking about, which was an amazing thing as the originator of said brief trend.

I have always been a brand loyalist. I have pretty much only worn a few types of shoes my whole life. I started out in Roos, moved on to Nikes and Jordans when I was a kid. Once I grew out of child sizes my parents wouldn’t buy me Jordan’s anymore. From 1984-1994 I played soccer so I wore a lot of Adidas, mostly Sambas. My first Chucks were all blue and I wore pretty much nothing else until after high school. For a while I flirted with skate shoes… Airwalks, Vans, and Etnies even SOAPs, but I never had more than a couple pairs and I was still rocking Chucks at the same time. I have even considered tattooing the Converse All Star logo to my ankle so that I could wear low top Chucks without socks and they would look like highs. That is not even a joke (although the idea of me rocking lows, or not wearing socks is).

In 2003 Nike bought Converse and I had a pretty strong punk rock ethos at that time and I was pissed. I thought they were going to ruin the shoe. Fortunately, Nike tapped into what Converse already knew, and made even more crazy designs that were even more collectable. At this same time I started managing a dance band and got further and further away from my punk rock ideals and returned to my love of Nikes. After I bought my first pair of Dunks I was hooked on the shoes that I grew up on. You are hard pressed these days to find me out of Nike High Tops, be they Jordan’s, Dunks or my favorite: Nike Vandals.

This may be why my first impressions of the free shoes I got were a little mixed. Converse sent me a pair of re-released Pro Team Weapons that they put out for their 100th anniversary. When I pulled them out of the gold box, I dug them instantly. I put them on and they fit right away and were super comfortable. I really liked the look of them from the sides. The only problem I have is that when I look straight down at them, I am so used to Nike’s that they look a bit weird to me. They look almost too much like basket ball shoes. And yes, I understand the irony in that, since all the shoes I wear are basketball shoes. Still, I have worn them three days in a row now and as long as they stay as white as they are, I will keep rocking them. (They did get covered in fake blood the first day I wore them, but that came off pretty easily.) That is my second, and only other problem with them… I fear white shoes. Scuffed white shoes make me really sad, so I try to avoid them at all costs. But these were free, and I have gotten some compliments, and they are super comfortable and I think I could pull off wearing them to a wedding. They will remain in my shoe rotation for sure.

Lastly, I wanted to know a little about the shoes I got so I sent a picture of them over to James Martin at The Converse Blog. He didn’t know a lot about them but here is what he did say:

I don’t know a great deal about them, other than they are re-issued shoes from the 80’s. I am pretty sure they were released after the Weapons, but I am not 100% on that. Your pair seems to be a deluxe edition with better leathers and other materials used compared the general release of the Pro Teams in that colorway. Also the box looks to be pretty cool too, I haven’t seen a gold box with the Converse Century design details.

After talking to James I looked at the Converse website and the shoes are available on there and don’t seem to be any sort of limited edition or anything… so I think he is wrong about that, but they are still very fresh. The box he mentions is similar to the Nike ID boxes that slide out and are a really nice touch. The gold converse box is probably my favorite box since the second generation Ice Creams I have that came in a box that looked like a carton of ice cream. They may still do that, but the new Ice Creams are so damned ugly that you won’t catch me in a pair.

Okay. That was an insanely long post. I did not mean to rant like this, but I don’t often have the chance to talk shoes… or marketing, so I have to get my hits in where I can. So yeah, if YOU have some free shit you want to send me, please do, and maybe I will write an epic blog about your swag too. <3 Swag.

Okay, okay; Check out the shoes for yourself and then download the Pharell/Santogold/Julian Casablancas converse track below:

N.E.R.D., Santogold and Julian Casablancas – My Drive Thru:
N.E.R.D, Santogold and Julian Casablanas – My Drive Thru

What’s this?  Two film reviews in two days? Back to back even?  Wow.  I moved to NYC to watch movies, this site should be nothing but film reviews.  However, I decided that taking photos of DJ’s and cute girls was more important than my film education so I have been super slack.  But this weekend was pretty good.

Anyway, if you know anything about me you should know that Werner Herzog is my favorite director.  As of yesterday have now seen 52 of his 54 films.  One thing you need to know about Herzog is that all of his films are really about him.  I think this is important to note for someone who is walking into one of his documentaries thinking that they are going to see a straight doc.  He talks to the camera, often putting himself in his opinions into the films more directly than most people are used to.  One of the biggest complaints about Grizzly Man was that they didn’t know who this narrator was butting into the film.  Well the problem is that you need to understand the man, to really get the films.  Herzog has spent his life making both documentaries and standard narrative films about people who are obsessed with something, and maybe a little bit crazy.  This describes Herzog perfectly.  Even the “bad” protagonists in his movies tend to reflect as much about the director as anything else.  In truth he is often far more interesting than any of his subjects and hopefully someone will do his life story justice on celluloid.

Anyway, his newest film, Encounters At The End Of The World at times reads like a nature film about Antarctica and in fact it is produced by the Discovery Channel’s film division, but at other times it is gloomy and depressive look at the end of the world.  And at other times is absolutely laugh out loud hysterical.   In order to prepare for the feirce snow storms one might expect in Antarctica people train with buckets on their heads painted with faces that had the packed Film Forum crowd crying with laughter.  The film is Herzog’s second film to deal with Antarctica , but his first time he actually set foot on the continent.  (Wild Blue Yonder was assembled from footage a friend of his shot.)  He has now made a movie on all seven continents.  So here, for the first time, is my list of my favorite Herzog films by continent!  Click description for trailers/ clips!

Africa: Cobra Verde
Antarctica: Encounters At The End Of The World
Asia: Little Dieter Needs To Fly
Australia: When Green Ants Dream
Europe: Even Dwarves Started Small
North America: Stroszek
South America: Fitzcarraldo

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMBnl2_e46k[/youtube]

The New York Asian Film Festival (NYAFF) started on Friday. Due to my work schedule I am not going to see as many as I did last year, but there are a few screenings on the weekend I am pretty excited about. The first of those was The Butcher which I saw yesterday. I knew I could only see movies Fridays and Saturdays because of my day job, so I just looked at the schedule for today and yesterday. The first thing that jumped out at me was an image of a man holding a chain saw wearing a pig mask. I watched the trailer and could not have been more fucked up.

The movie is about a man, who with his wife and two other people, has been captured to be tortured and killed in a snuff film. He wakes up in an abandoned factory farm to find himself tied up with a video camera mounted to his head. The entire film is made up of shots from his helmet cam, and the torturers cameras. The cinema vertias style is more effective here than I think it is in Cloverfield for example, but there are times where it doesn’t exactly make sense. The film is very gruesome and would be probably terrifying if I could manage to be scared of movies. I used to be, I am not sure what happened. But my friend that I was with told me that she did not think she would be able to sleep for a week. One of the main points in the film is how casual the tortures are about the whole thing. They laugh and joke with each other and talk about their art. The thing is, I think it would have been a bit more scary if they were obscured a bit, but I guess it would have changed the whole context of the film. That being said, the film was super fucked up and if you ever get the chance to see it, I would. It screens one more time, next Saturday at the IFC at 950PM.

Do yourself a favor and watch this fucking trailer, but only if you think you can handle it. Holy fuck.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5JfIxtTS3c[/youtube]

So I am a die hard Troma fan.  At least I was until they didn’t put out a single in house in the last 6 years.  (Note: Tales From The Crapper does not count).  In those 6 years I think I have matured a bit.  I am not sure that I enjoy decapitations and gratuitous nudity and projectile excretions as much as I once did.  These days I am mostly into musicals.  Luckily for me the new Troma film combines both my love of musicals and my former love of extreme sex and violence.  If you have ever enjoyed at Troma film, you should see this movie.  For those not familiar with Troma, you have been warned.  This film is not for everyone.  Lloyd Kaufman is a hero of mine, and he directed this zombie/Indian/chicken masterpiece.  The film is racist, sexist and homophobic while at the same time fighting for these same issues.  If you did not think this to be possible, I suggest you watch a Troma film. Troma’s War made light of AIDS while shining a light on the AIDS situation in America.  Citizen Toxie lampooned school shootings in what might have been considered “too soon” by most.  Troma is a independent (for 34 years!) studio fighting for the little guy while making fun of all the little guys in their way… the big guys too.  Troma constantly goes after corporate greed and corruption in film, government and the world.  This film specifically deals with how the fast food industry is turning us into zombies.. and in this film it is quite literal.  Seriously, everyone becomes Indian zombie chickens.  And they sing and dance, and show a lot of tits and girls making out and explosive diarrhea. Don’t have any idea what the hell I am talking about?  Just watch the trailer.

And here is a quote for the DVD box:  “Pultrygiest is by far my favorite Indian Zombie Chicken Musical by an independent studio so far this year… I would go so far as to put it in my top 10 Indian Zombie Chicken Musicals of all time!”

Um… This trailer is extremely not safe for work.  The movie opens May 9th in New York.

PS. NEVER build a chicken restaurant on an Indian burial ground.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWGKWkpC6ng[/youtube]

I quit my day job in September and I have been half heartedly looking for a job while making less than a living doing photography. In that time I have stopped riding cabs, started eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and I completely stopped buying shoes. According to my blog, the last time I bought shoes was Aug 10th, which is just criminal. But I did buy two pairs on that day, including my all time favorite Nike Book Dunks. Anyway, I thought I was going to have some money after this Miami trip, but a broken lens and some unexpected expenses later I am completely fucking broke.  I am back on the job hunt. But, before I left I had my eyes set on the Air Jordan 1 rerelease quick strikes. They are the Opening Day pack and they are modeled after Jordan’s old minor league baseball team the Birmingham Barons. They feature the White Socks pin stripes with baseball stitching and crossed baseball bats that read BB 3 51, which after some investigation stand for Birmingham Barons and the 3 home runs and 51 RBI’s he hit.

Anyway, I had to have these shoes because I used to love Jordans as a kid and I have not rocked a pair in 15 years. They are mostly black which means they will match pretty much everything I wear and will be a good every day shoe and will let me wear my Nike Book’s a lot less which will hopefully keep them in better shape. I have absolutely no money now (at least until I get paid for Miami) and a lot of broken equipment. I will be eating a lot of PBJ over the next few weeks and looking for a day job, but at least I will have fresh kicks for my interview.

My friend Robin is one of my favorite photographers.  I got to hang out with her and her extremely weird and entertaining friends when I was in LA.  Robin was an old school fan of Driven By Boredom and when she was 16 she told me that I was her favorite writer.  Now she pretty much thinks I am a douche bag.  I have known her for the last 6 years and I have watched her photography get from good, to fucking amazing.  She consistently blows my mind.  Personally I think she abuses photoshop and that her images are strong enough that she doesn’t need much touch up.  She recently redid her website and I got to see a bunch of new images that I had never seen before.  She has two portfolios, one for her creepy horror stuff and naked chicks and one for her commercial work.  The thing is, surprisingly, I am almost more impressed by her commercial work.  Her editorial portraiture is mind blowing.  When I was in LA she was talking to me about the Salton Sea and how nothing but crazy meth heads live there.  She recently sent me a link to her Flickr set of it, and it blew my mind.  I am posting two images below.  The first is from the Salton Sea shoot and the second is an editorial portrait of two redneck comedians and liberal presidential hopeful Senator Mike Gravel.

Be Kind Rewind is the new film from Michel Gondry. It is about a video store clerk (Mos Def) who has a moronic friend (Jack Black) who accidentally erases all the movies. So they start making new movies themselves based on the erased movies. For those who insanely don’t know who Michel Gondry he is the man who directed Eternal Sunshine On The Spotless Mind. He is probably the most brilliant living film director who’s name is not Werner Herzog. That being said, Be Kind Rewind meanders. It drops some random plot points and a number of things don’t make sense. (For example, the movies they make are called Sweded versions, but no reason what so ever is given for that.) It is not exactly the best story telling on earth. Gondry is probably a much stronger director than he is a writer (this is the second film he has written, his last film, Science Of Sleep he also wrote, while his first two films were written by Charlie Kaufman. Anyway, the amazingness of the film more than makes up for it. It is extremely funny, completely inventive and overwhelmingly touching. Mos Def is sort of incredible playing a roll that is not only very out of character for him, but very different from any character I have seen anyone play. I had read some slightly negative reviews of it so I went in with slightly lowered expectations, but I have to say it blew me away and I was almost in tears at some points. Also, Danny Glover played the store owner and while I was not overwhelmed by his performance or anything, I did meet him and he was extremely nice.

Check out these two trailers. The first is the actual trailer, and the second is Michel Gondry’s Sweded version of the trailer.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62CZL9Rhz8Y[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B0dJQ35rDs[/youtube]