I know, I know… you thought since I had gotten rid of my adorable kittens I would stop posting and Tumbling and Tweeting about them.  Fortunately I did find good homes for both of the kittens and they both got checked out by the vets and are super healthy except for some ear mites.  They have drops now and should be perfect asap.

People gave me so much shit for Tweeting about fucking cats non stop, and the funny thing was I completely held back on how much I wanted to talk about them.  Now I know what it feels like to be an annoying mother who won’t shut the fuck up about all the stupid bullshit her baby did.  NO ONE CARES IF IT ROLLED OVER! CALL ME WHEN IT ROBS A LIQUOR STORE!

Anyway, I took a lot of video of my kittens and I probably won’t subject you to most of it, but this one video is so fucking retarded cute that I have to post it. And I got places to be, so I can give you this adorable video and it will look like I actually accomplished something today.

So, without further ado, here is a video of the most stupid adorable kitten trying to brush his teeth.

(For the record, that is the tooth brush I use to clean my sneakers with, not my actual toothbrush.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsL5DrYbyLk[/youtube]

So at about 6AM I was walking home and I saw a tiny kitten playing under a car tire by Avenue D.  After looking at him for a few minutes I realized he had a brother a few feet away under the other tire.  I sat down and sort of lured them over to me.  I am super allergic to cats but these things were so damn cute and clearly in not a real good position to be in.  I noticed that there was a box a few feet away and it appears someone had filled a box full of cat food and abandoned them in it.  They had escaped from the box and were hiding under car tires.  I calle 311 but all the shelters were closed.  I couldn’t leave them there so I picked them up and put them back into the box and we caught a cab back to Brooklyn. So I stayed up with them until my roommate got up for work so he could shower then I dried out the bath tub and put them in it and gave them some water and a towel to sleep in.  I got a couple hours of sleep and then got up to check on them.  They seem to be doing fine but the non-black cat seems to be a bit weak.  Anyway, I am going to take them to a shelter this evening if no one wants them, but they are so cute I figured I could find a good home.  So if you want to rescue some of the most adorable kittens I have ever seen in my life, please email me.  I need to deal with this soon because I am doing my 30th birthday party tonight.

So in conclusion, check out these videos I took of the kittehs when I found them, Tweet/Facebook/Share this post and see if we can get someone to adopt these cats, and then come to Webster Hall tonight for my party.  Remember, mention Driven By Boredom at the Studio door and you get in free!

Lolz…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X64OTFmPmsQ[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfmGb2jFGiI[/youtube]

So as per my Tumblr, I had no plans on updating tonight.  I have been organizing my computer and my apartment and putting ads on the website and watching Friday Night Lights for some reason.  Because of these mostly productive things I didn’t really have any time to work on a good update for you this weekend.  I mean who the hell updates on the weekend anyway?  Well, I guess I do…

While I was organizing my old hard drives I found a bunch of cool shit including some funny old photos I will be Tumbling next week, some old pictures I took of Lady Gaga in 2007, and this video of me getting my lip pierced.

I got my lip done in 2001 when I was living in Richmond, VA.  Actually now that I think about it, it might have been early 2002, but that is completely not important.  I had the lip ring up until about two years ago when I was at Happy Endings and this drunk model chick punched me in the face for taking her photo.  She was my friends roommate too.  It was really insane, but I guess that’s what happens when you hang out with drunk people every single night.  Anyway, when she punched me the ball from my lip ring popped out and a few days later I lost the lip ring while eating a bagel on the Subway.  I thought about getting a new ring, but I decided that I was way to old to have facial piercings so I took it out.

Anyway, the video is sort of graphic, and very very mildly entertaining.  But if you had the time to read this boring fucking post, you have the time to watch this short and painful video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAlaVuXsfqA[/youtube]

So guess what? After the two posts I am putting up today from the Lose Control 2 party at Vice I have only 3 more SXSW updates.  I realize this stuff happened almost two months ago, but damn, I was busy and I took a lot of fucking photos. Better late that never… Let’s just keep it moving.

I went to Lose Control with my friend Arden, we came to just check out the place and heard a bad we wanted to see was playing late there.  I don’t even remember who it was, but I never got to see them because I ended up leaving to see my friends band play across the street. I did get a chance to see Hey Champ.  I actually don’t remember much about them because it was so long ago and they were the second band I shot out of 50 that week.  I do remember that they were fun to shoot and that two girls were flirting with me while I was shooting them.  That was a lot of fun.

Anyway, I have three updates for today and it’s already 10 PM so we are gonna just have to keep it moving.  Click here to see the pictures of Hey Champ at Loose Control 2 at Vice at SXSW in Austin. Yeah.

I cannot act.  I have no idea why I was asked to co star in a short film for The New Pop.  I guess it had something to do with the fact that I am an nightlife photographer and the character was a nightlife photographer.  I was flattered to be asked, and I have been trying to get my friends to put me in their movies for ages so I said yes despite my reservations about my poor acting and some questionable bits in the script. We rehearsed a few times and each time completely rewrote the script.  The director Trevz has shot music videos and has ten years of behind the camera experience but had never directed anything with scripted dialogue. I am not sure he was prepared for what he was getting himself into.  He thought we could finish the whole thing in a few hours, but we went all night.  It was the coldest day of the fall and have the shoot was outside and we were miserable.  No one really knew what we were doing and we kept missing parts.  I sort of took command of making sure we got everything while Trevz made sure he got amazing shots.  I think everyone was a bit annoyed at me when I kept making us redo things. Luckily we got everything shot, and if nothing else the footage looked incredible.  Trevz did a few edits that got better each time, but it never really came together the way he thought it would.  I just think we needed more time preparing, and it would have been nice to have shot on a warmer day, but you live and you learn.  Trevz clearly knows what he is doing behind the camera and has a vision, he just needs a little more practice.  I can’t wait to see his next attempt.

Anyway, the project was almost scrapped, but Trevz figure out away to keep some of it alive.  He cut it down from 7 minutes to just over two minutes and created a little snippet that is totally different from the original film.  It was a pretty great move to save it.  My favorite part was the end, which is completely gone now, but he told me that it might end up becoming the opening to his next film, so we will just wait and see. Read Trevz take on the whole thing here.

If nothing else, you get to see me looking really tired in a wife beater.  And while it is pretty clear I have no acting talents, I still want to be in all my friends movies, so please cast me already.  I need to start putting together a reel.  Oscar or bust motherfucker.

The Scene Episode 2 from trevz on Vimeo.

I am not going to do any top 10 lists or decade wrap ups or anything like that, but I think I should have a post or so looking back to where my life was 10 years ago.  I was in college at Penn State. I hated it. I was this punk rock kid but all my friends were ravers in the mid-late 90’s DC club scene.  I went to two parties that night a hotel party and a hose party at a spot called the Crack House.  I didn’t drink or do drugs so I was responsible for driving people around.  I also was really into wrestling for some reason.  I have a bunch of footage from that night, but the only thing I have online is this video of me and my friend Dylan wrestling at the hotel party.  I am pretty sure this was at like 10 PM, because I know I spent midnight and most of the night at the Crack House.  I think the most embarrassing thing about that era of my life was bad pants choices. Despite my punk rockness at some point after 1999 I started wearing raver pants. In the vid I am wearing ice camo which was made popular by this local punk band called the Infertil but in the context of the rest of the party they look pretty ravetastic.  Over the next year or two I bought at least one pair of JNCO’s and at least one pair of UFO’s.  Mistakes were made.

Once for Halloween I went as myself in 2000. I wore JNCO’s and the unfortunately tight He-man ringer tee that I am wearing in this video.  I also rocked SOAP shoes and a jacket with flames on it. It is almost too bad Y2K didn’t destroy me then…

Anyway, watch this stupid video of me wrasslin’ to rave beepin’ and then let’s hope that I don’t look back at my life 10 years ago and have the same regrets I do now.  Let’s hope the regrets are much much worse. Go out and kill tonight.  I’ll be the belligerently drunk guy waving glo sticks like it’s 1999.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Iye4sQ8s6A[/youtube]

So a long time ago I posted this video about teaching little kids how to cheat on tests on YouTube. The video went viral and I did an interview on Good Morning America about it and Bill O’Reilly played it on his TV show. To this day I get comments from people asking me to make more videos. Well today I was hanging out with my friend and I showed her all these comments so we joked about making a new video.

So guess what? Now there is a new video.  I don’t really know any other ways to teach kids how to cheat, but as a former petty suburban criminal I know tons of stuff about teaching bored kids how to be delinquents. When I was in high school I had a master plan of releasing 10,000 crickets in a shopping mall food cour on Black Friday.  I never did it although I was legitimately considering it. Years later I still had every intention of doing it but I just had not pulled it off.  Unfortunately September 11th happened and I figured doing something like that would have gotten me in a lot more trouble than it would have previously. So the dream died and I left the bio terrorism to the pros.

Today I bring that dream to the people. I made a really dumb video of me telling kids about this prank and jokingly encouraging them to try it.  Who knows, maybe one day some kid in Kansas will make my dream a reality because let’s face it… that would be fucking hilarious.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1uXPk8VlbM[/youtube]

So you guys read about it, and saw the pictures and now here’s the video. My man against burger match with the infamous Beast of South Florida.  I am not going to say a whole lot about it since I blogged about it before, but here is a quick refresher.  I was in South Florida for a meeting of nerds who run Miami Dolphins websites. A bunch of us were gathered to celebrate the Dolphins victory at Kim Bokamper’s sports bar, when I saw the Beast on the menu. It was a 3 lb burger with 8 strips of bacon, 4 eggs, 4 slices of cheese and a stale loaf of bread for a bun.  You can read about exactly what was going on in my head right here.  And with out further ado, DolfansNYC presents… Igor Vs. The Beast.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucHdIBvAZEg[/youtube]

This video probably won’t make any sense to you unless you are a fan of the Monkey Island series of video games. That being said, you still get to see someone spray a 2 liter of soda all over a really cute girl wearing a fake beard made out of ribbons.

I will try to explain anyway. I don’t play video games.  The last system was the original game boy that I bought using my saved up allowance money in 1987 or 88. That being said this game called Monkey Island was my favorite video game ever back then and they keep making new ones.  Every time a new one comes out I play it despite my anti-gaming policy. Tell Tale Games just brought Monkey Island back after a long hiatus and I have been playing it.  I was on their blog looking to see when the next chapter (The new game, Tales of Monkey Island is separated into 5 chapters) when I saw that they were having a halloween contest. I had no plans on entering as the prize is a video game system (and not a 20 year old Game Boy). But I saw some Mentos at the bodega by my apartment and for some reason it instantly gave me the idea of hosing one of my friends down in Diet Coke. In the Secret of Monkey Island Guybrush Threepwood (mighty pirate) kills his nemesis the evil ghost pirate LeChuck with Voodoo root beer and when I saw the Mentos the other day I thought that spraying someone would be pretty perfect. I went on Twitter and posted a message asking if anyone wanted to dress like a pirate and get sprayed with Diet Coke (masquerading as Voodoo root beer). My friend Samantha texted me within 5 minutes of the post and came over the next day. We thought since it was halloween it would be easy to find a pirate costume… it was not. We spent 90 minutes walking around Southside Willamsburg trying to find a costume and by the time we gave up and went super ghetto by taping ribbon to her face it was dark out. Luckily my neighbor OJ was home and we found a street lamp to stand under.

This drunken homeless dude kept interrupting us while taping screaming about Williamsburg, beer and weed. It was pretty intense. You will hear him in the video. After we finished he bought a beer from a bodega and chased us down the block trying to pour beer on Sam. His argument “It’s only Coors Light!” Touche.

So yeah, that is the story.  This video is super weird but the money shot is really worth watching.  I bust that Diet Coke all over her face.  It is pretty graphic.  It even got up her nose!  Enjoy the weirdness.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfc97TOpHxY[/youtube]