Here is another Youtubes update. You know, one of those posts where I post a few videos I have found over the last week, write two sentences about them and then go on with my day because I spent last night watching the State on DVD instead of taking photos of you and your friends getting drunk. So let’s get started and then I am going to get some damn lunch.
Speaking of the State the first video is of the Monkey Torture episode of the State. I completely forgot about it and how funny I thought it was 15 years ago. Monkey Torture and the Muppet Hunting sketch are probably my two favorite sketches that don’t involve Doug or the Old Fashioned guy who evidently was scrapped after the first season. If you don’t know what the State is, just Google that shit already… especially if you are a fan of Reno 911, Wet Hot American Summer, Stella, Michael & Michael, Role Models or Viva Variety. Actually, if you have any idea what Viva Variety is you probably don’t need to Google the state… Moving on…
[myspace]http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=4273246[/myspace]
Next up we have a video Roxy Cottontail shot of the Ninjasonik show the other night. I am featured in it a lot shooting photos on stage. It makes me truly appreciate how bad my posture is. It is really horrifying. Anyway, other than the radness of this clip, around the 3:09 mark you just see me disappear. It is at that moment when my knee completely gave out on me for no reason. I think it is okay now, but it still feels week sometimes and twinges if I bend it weird. Anyway, this video clip is a mix of Ninjasonik’s cover of Attitude by Bad Brains, Tight Pants and their Death Set Negative Thinking About Tight Pants mashup. It looks like a lot of fun, because it was.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omrkKsvjm4k[/youtube]
Lastly I had to block my dad from Facebook and my mom is afraid to add me, but she says that I keep showing up in her recommended friends list and she wishes I wouldn’t put up such creepy pictures of me. I am just glad she isn’t following me on Twitter… I don’t think.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu4zMvE6FH4[/youtube]
Comments (0)So from time to time I have posted videos from the Onion News Network. They are both hilarious and Peabody Award winning. More importantly, however, is that my little brother is the post production coordinator for them, whatever the hell that means. Anyway, this one seemed extremely appropriate to this website, plus my brother is in it a bunch. He is wearing a red brimmed hat and looking like a douche bag starting about the 48 second mark. Fun times.
Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire
My friend Kiki Valentine has been trying to get me to go to the variety show she hosts every month since the fall. Things keep coming up every month, but finally I made one, the Easter Spectacular!. Her show is a semi-secret affair that combines a variety of performance art in a quite uncensored manner that requires the location to be a mystery until a few days before when performers are announced. The show I saw featured juggling, comedy, magic, hoola-hooping, and a whole lot of girls taking off their clothes. If not a burlesque show exactly, it is a burlesque environment. Now burlesque is not normally my thing, but there were some really great performances. Kiki hosted the whole thing as Amy Winehouse in perfect character even when things fucked up. She made the mics not working and the curtain not open hilarious.
The highlight for me was actually a juggler named Michael Karas who did two acts, one where he juggled fire dressed as Jesus, and the other where he juggled while stripping and then juggled five balls for his finale. At one point he dropped one of his fire sticks and it went into the crowd and he nearly set his Jesus robes on fire… Other than that though he was pretty on point with the throwing and the catching. Other highlights included two friends of mine, Coco La Pearl who ate fire and deep throated a banana with skill that is usually reserved for only the most revered porn stars and Justina Flash who did some surprisingly impressive things with a hoola-hoop. She also happened to be covered in silver paint and fully topless which helped. Also worth mentioning was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.
Famed performer Queen LaQueefa dressed up as Michael Jackson and fucked a baby doll with a strap on and put out two birthday candles with her vagina but none of that compared to the horror of her second act. She dressed up like a meth head version of Mary and had a comedian friend dress up like a hip hop Jesus. She then proceeded to suck on Jesus’s toes, rip off her clothes showing off her stained ass, wiped it with toilet paper and then threw that as well as used tampons at the crowd. So, okay, maybe it wasn’t real shit on her ass or real blood on the tampons, but the effect was still unbelievably revolting. She then pulled an airplane sized bottle of vodka out of her vagina and then Jesus fucked her with a strap on as the curtains closed. It was certainly like nothing I had ever seen before, and I feel like that was probably a good thing.
Anyway other performers I haven’t mentioned yet were Magic Max The Magician and his amazingly round assistant Stormy. Honestly she is built like a beach ball… and I know that sounds mean but there is something strangely hot about that. There was this really intense thing were this extraordinarily hot girl named Meira got attacked by naked men dressed as bunnies. They would rip her clothes off and then she would bop them on the head, so to speak. At the end she was naked and covered in blood. There was a comedy duo named RAPE who tried to sell the crowd fake vaginas, a visiting burlesque dancer named Miss Sugarpuss, a dancer named Misty Lux who came out in one hell of a costume and a woman named Philly Caramel who did an act where she worshiped delicious Peeps to the Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell hit “You’re All I Need To Get By”. I was really into that since all I really listen to these days is 70’s soul records.
Okay, there are 250+ pictures from this thing. I had to put up a lot of mediocre shots so you could follow what was going on in each act, but there is some nice stuff in here too (The Justina Flash shots especially). Of course, due to Queen LaQueefa these shots are more than a little Not Safe For Work. View them all here, but you have been warned.
Due to all the SXSW photos I am trying to catch up on, some things are getting lost in the cracks…. Have them all here in this manageable single serving blog post:
1. WLTF #4 just came out. I have a photo in this issue. The magazine has a lot to do with sex, hence the title “Would Like To Fuck” and the shots I have had in WLTF in the past have been of sexual nature. The one I have in this issue however is not. I think you should check it out. It is a pretty great shot. That being said, even though my image is safe for work, the rest of the magazine is not. You have been warned.
2. I am sure you guys know this by now, but I managed a band called The Gaskets for five years. They broke up about a year ago and due to some weird fluke that I cannot explain their CD’s are selling on Amazon for insane amounts of money. Okay, I am sure no one is actually going to pay $188 for a Gaskets record, but it is for sale for that price. This is pretty amusing to me. If anyone wants to pay $100 for a Gaskets CD, let me know and I will sell you my copy. Save on shipping!
3. I went to a taping of the Colbert Report. I had never done any thing like that. It was a crowd of mostly tourists and all of them were really, really excited to be there. My friend Bailey got VIP passes from her boss. We are both fans, but neither of us have cable so it’s not like we are obsessed. VIP just meant we didn’t have to wait in line and we got seated first. But it is a small audience so there are really no bad seats. When you first come in you have to go through airport like security and then they cage you in this little holding pen. I cannot imagine it passes fire code as there were over 100 people in a room about the size of my kitchen. After waiting for an hour you get brought into the studio which is pretty amazing. A warm up comic comes out and then Steven comes out, people go crazy and then it is all down hill from there. The warm up comic was pretty great, I wish I could remember his name so I could link him. It is a pretty good room to work in, but still he was pretty on point. Then Steven comes out and answers questions out of character to “humanize himself” then you get to watch him put on his make up and set up everything. The first time this happens it is pretty entertaining, but during each commercial break it gets less and less interesting. The high light was watching Steven and Jon Stewart joke around before Stewart does the Colbert lead in at the bottom of his show. It is during the last commercial of the Daily Show and they were pretty hysterical. That stuff is not in character and is pretty great. Then the show starts. The main problem with it is that you want to be watching the monitors the whole time because they have the graphics, which completely defeats being at the taping so you keep trying to watch him live and then you get distracted by the cameras and the graphics you are missing. Then you break for 5 minutes before the next segment. The whole thing is just really distracting so it is hard to get into the show. Still, it was a fun experience to do once, and the interview with Biz Stone from Twitter was pretty interesting. I Twittered about it while it was happening. Anyway, watch the show below, you can sort of see me when the camera pans the crowd at the beginning. Get excited.
So a lot of people sent me emails, texts, Twitters, Facebook and Myspace messages concerned about how my website got hacked for April Fools day. Well… I “hacked” it myself. If you missed checking out DBB yesterday, after the page started loading, the site was immediately redirected to THIS IMAGE. I wanted to make my site look exactly like one of those Myspace spam pages. It looked pretty great I think… probably too good since everyone thought it was real. I got an email from someone who is working on trying to get some good advertising on the site and he and his boss looked at my site yesterday only to find that someone had hacked it. Oops. If you guys had just clicked the porn spam you would have been directed back to the site, but alas… not everyone figured that out.
I was pretty into it, but it was pretty spur of the moment. I had some other ideas for April Fools jokes but they didn’t really work out. I think my joke last year was the best so far. I had a TON of people think I was actually stabbed… Some people even blogged about it. I even went as far as wearing a bandage over my stomach the first few days I went out after the 1st last year… Although the most time I spent on an April Fools joke was when in 2002 if you tried to go to my site you ended up on this one instead. I spent quite a bit of time crafting that beauty, so I hope you will take another look.
Lastly, we are taking a break from SXSW coverage to bring you party photos from Tuesday and Wednesday and I will be getting to those in about 10 hours when I wake up. In the mean time, enjoy the embarrassing media coverage of one of my favorite April Foolers…. Improv Everywhere. You would have thought that at least their fans would have been in on the joke… Jesus people are gullible.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvOvlmT4Oi0[/youtube]
Comments (0)Oh, boy. The Dysfunctional Family Circus is back. I have been meaning to make new ones of these for so long and kept putting it off but fortunately for you I couldn’t put it off any longer. You see I found this today. It is a question to an online exam. It asks the student to take a serious critical look at my offensive cartoons. They even call me an “artist”. I am not sure what sort of family studies exam would even think about sending their students to my website, but hey, it inspired me. Check out the newest three comics in a series I have not worked on in several years. I hope you dig them, or at least are at least pretty pissed at me. I think I may have crossed the line a little bit on the last one…
Do you know how big a bus is?
So this went viral a few months ago and some how I completely missed it. If I did, chances are most of you did too. Cause I spend roughly 8 hours asleep, 6 hours partying/taking photos and 10 hours online a day. Then again, I had a job when this came out, so that might have something to do with it. My schedule then was 10 hours working, 4 hours photoing, 4 hours sleeping, and just 6 hours online… So those extra 4 hours add up.
Anyway, it is pretty clear from this site that these amazing videos aren’t actually real, but I so, so badly wish they were. I was about 50/50 when I watched the first one. But these are just too good to be true. Fortunately that means that the actor playing Toby Jones in these videos could go on to glory as the greatest comedian of his time. So, pretend these are real, and have solace in the fact that maybe one day you will get to watch this genius in a theater near you. I would hire him.
Honestly, these videos are life changing. You know how you come back to a song over and over again? Like you get that new single you love so much and you just keep listenin to it 10 times a day? That is how I am with these videos. They are music to my ears. Call Toby today: (708) – 752-3393
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0gb9v4LI4o[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8L7TnWx8As[/youtube]
Comments (1)So Flight Of The Chonchords maybe possibly the best show ever. It is pretty hilarious, the songs are amazing, and I know several of the cast members. It is not actually back on the television yet, but Funny Or Die has released the first episode none the less. I think it is a pretty solid episode, but I was not blown away by any of the songs. It was good to see Murray (Rhys Darby) sing again, but it did not come anywhere near the brilliance of his hit Leggy Blonde. You can watch the new episode below, hopefully it will get you as excited for the new season as it has for me.
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