Last week I posted the video to the remix of the Fat Joe song “Make It Rain”. Other than the fact that this song is about throwing stacks of money at strippers, which I find hilarious, I am not a huge fan of the song. That being said, the R Kelly verse might be the best written stanza since Shakespeare. I just wanted to talk to you about some of my favorite parts.

I be drilling these chicks like Major Payne

This line is extremely clever in a way only R Kelly could come up with. You see, he is referencing the Damon Waynes movie Major Payne which deals with a drill Sargent yelling at his subordinates. Yet when he says the word drill, he is actually speaking about having sex with these for mentioned chicks. In this line “drilling” has a double meaning. Brilliant.

When I make it rain, they be like “Yo… do it again”

Obviously they are excited when he throws money at them. You might think that they would feel disrespected by this action, but Kelly explains that the money they receive more than makes up for feeling completely debased. Or a second theory is that while normally they would mind this action, when R Kelly does it, they want him to do it again because they understand his brilliance.

From the club to the coupe, inside my gates
Up in my bedroom screaming each other’s name

He explains that no matter where he his, girls will have sex with him. He can get strippers to copulate with him in his car, in his house or in his bedroom. It does not matter where, as long as they have been showered with money prior to these actions.

They was perty perty, and I was flirty flirty
Lil’ dro, lil’ bub now they getting’ dirty dirty

These girls were very attractive and he was acting very flirtatious, but they did not become promiscuous until he provided them with hydroponic marijuana and and champagne.

Don’t ax me what my name is, stupid bitch I’m famous

Whilst the word AX is not in my vocabulary, I take this to mean “ask” in Kelly’s parlance. R Kelly is known the world over for his outstanding lyricism, his unquestioned singing abilities and his fondness for urinating on underage women. Because of these reasons you should be well aware of who he is. As a future warning for those who have not yet met Kelly, please, when introducing yourself tell him your name, but it is commonly accepted that you know his name, and you should under no circumstances ask for it.

You gon’ make me aim this
Leave your ass brainless

What Kelly is suggesting here is that because you did not immediately recognize him he may, in fact, have to aim his pistol of some sort and shoot you in the head which would cause your brain to leave your skull.

I’m tryin’ to stay R&B
But these streets is a part of me

This could possibly be my favorite lyric of the song; It is certainly the one I most relate to. R&B or Rhythm and Blues is most commonly associated with romance and relationships. I would go so far as to say that R&B is an expression of love. That being said, R Kelly is not all hugs and kisses. The dangerous street life that we are so familiar with from Kelly’s “Trapped In the Closet” videos, is very much still a part of him and that he might really shoot you in the face because you asked him his name, but he will try not to.

So don’t get it twisted

Please, don’t misunderstand me.

You see I order one bottle, then I fuck with one model

I mean, that’s just how it goes. When you order champagne, you fornicate with a model.

Then I order more bottles, now I got more models

If A is true, then B is true. 1 bottle = 1 model. More bottles = More Models

I’m from that city where them niggaz don’t play mayn

Blacks do not play games in Chicago. Never. Not one game. Or, this could also possibly mean that there are some very serious fellows in Chicago and that you should be careful when cracking wise around them.

I take a chick to my room like caveman

I think what he is saying is that when he meets a woman he likes, he bashes her over the head with an over-sized club and then takes her back to his cave for unconscious rape. Whatever, he is saying, I am pretty sure that it implies rape somehow, conscious or not.

So ask your girlfriend my name, I bet she go
“Skeet skeet skeet skeet, Weatherman ’bout to make it rain!”

R Kelly has so much confidence in his attractiveness to women that he believes that your girlfriend is interested him. So much that she would say either something as ridiculous as “skeet skeet skeet skeet” or she would actually orgasm then and there to the sound of his name. The part the part about him being a weatherman is slightly more confusing as weathermen usually predict weather, while R Kelly is actually making metaphoric weather when he “makes it rain”. I would compare these actions to those of a weather deity and less to a man.

Yes. I said it. R Kelly is a god; more specifically R Kelly is the Rain God. Fear him.

Good Night and Good Luck.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm1lDpwV3-c[/youtube]

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