Cyber Monday is complete bullshit but maybe I just think that because I am terrible at capitalism. I feel the same way about consumerism as I do Photoshop, I hate it, but like maybe if I was good at it I would be more on board. I honestly have no idea, but I am here to try to sell you some shit anyway. Not at a discount mind you, because I am so bad at making money that my margins suck anyway so I can’t really give you a discount and I am not making enough money for me to care if you buy more shit. I just want you to buy it because I made it and I want people to have the stuff I made and I want to have less boxes in my living room.

So let’s get to it. Recently I mentioned my new zine Fuck LA and this mysterious project that I had created. Well, that project has officially been released and I have honestly sold most of them already (I only made 35) but it’s a callendar of people brushing their teeth because I have no idea why. 

At the end of 2017 someone emailed me about doing a calendar. Calendars seem silly because people have telephones now and because if you don’t sell them all my January first they are trash, but I had been working on my zine NOT SAFE and I realized I had a bunch of photos of girls brushing their teeth and I thought it would be hilarious to do a teeth brushing calendar and use a bunch of absurd anthropomorphic teeth clip art. So I found a place that does print on demand calendars, pulled and edit and found clip art. The problem was I only had 9 photos and I needed 12.

I immediately hit up all my favorite models that live near me and in two days I had shot Sabby, Lucy Everleigh and Sammy for the calendar. I was ready to go so I reached out to my friend Teddy to design the cover and throw some of the teeth clip art on there but he didn’t quite have time and we really ran out of time before Christmas so I put the project on hold for a year.

Last month I started up again. I had 12 photos ready to go, but one I didn’t really love and I happened to be shooting my friend Ashley and I asked her to let me take some of her brushing her teeth just in case and I ended up getting a really pretty black and white photo of her and the calendar was locked. I printed up 35 copies and bought a bunch of toothbrushes in bulk because I am a crazy person and here we are ready for you guys. 

The calendar features the four models I mentioned above plus musician/model Marz Lovejoy, pornstars Riley Reid, Stoya and Alexis Fawx, plus Anya Amsel, Kirra Hughes, Whit, and this girl Taylor who I don’t think I have seen since I took the photo and couldn’t find out how to contact her so she’s the only model who doesn’t have her birthday listed on the calendar. Half of the photos involve some nudity and 5 out of 12 photos are in black and white. They are all 35mm photos. The clip art is adorable. 

If you order a calendar it comes with a free toothbrush and a appointment reminder card because I am an idiot or brilliant I am not quite sure. Whatever the case it’s better than anything you can get from your dentist aside from healthy teeth and a more attractive face. Whatever. I am 100% sending my dentist one of these calendars too and if you have a calendar you can find out when my next dentist appointment is and then ask me how it goes when I show up for the appointment. 

Oh and I shot some digital test shots of Sabby, Lucy, Sammy and Ashley whilst I was shooting the calendar. I was both trying to figure out the best composition and making sure I had something in case the film didn’t come out, but fortunately it didn’t come to that because the digital shots are pretty bad. But if you do want to see the digital outtakes I uploaded them to Girls of Driven By Boredom so if you sign up for that you can see a bunch more of these photos. Also, you should still buy Fuck LA cause Cyber Monday or something. 

Click here to buy the 2019 Driven By Boredom Dental calendar!

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