Hello my friends. I am in Austin, TX and town is fireworks free due to threat of “dangerous” wildfires.  It sucks because I am missing the Coney Island hot dog eating contest for the first time seven years.  But on the plus side I am having a completely insane time driving from Los Angeles to NYC.

I don’t have time for a full recap as I am supposedly about to go on a boat somewhere but let me break down the trip a little bit.  I just wanted to let you know I was still alive.

My friend Whitney decided to move back to New Jersey for the summer and reached out on Twitter asking if anyone wanted to help her drive her car back.  I don’t know Whitney that well but I do know that she parties really hard and likes to get naked a lot. She is also pretty hot.  All of these things make for a pretty good traveling parter.

The first night we drove to Scottsdale, AZ and my one friend there decided to get drunk and pass out before I could meet up with her so we ended finding a pool party at the W Hotel and just went swimming.  We got out of town early and just drove until we wanted to fall asleep and we ended up in Ft. Stockton, Texas where neither of our phones got reception.

The drive through Arizona, New Mexico and West Texas is beautiful but also pretty fucking boring so we amused ourselves by hitting up roadside attractions like the mysterious “The Thing?” and taking topless photos of Whitney every time we stopped.

On the way to Austin her friends kept posting planking photos on Twitter and she decided that she couldn’t be beaten so we made a few stopps as she planked cows and a tractor and we even broke into a farm so she could plank a broken airplane. I even got my plank on at some state park in Texas.

Anyway we finally arived in Austin on Saturday and I was planning on crashing with my friend Isabel for a few days but she decided to go to Mexico for no reason and since I don’t have my passport I just am staying at her house.  Austin has been pretty nuts so far as we have been partying with Whitney’s stripper friends and terrorizing local bars. There as been a lot of nudity and madness and fun things like that and I have shot a ton of film. I also performed live band punk rock karaoke and got pretty much completely naked at a party last night.

I haven’t taken too many photos digitally and I am going to do a huge update about all this shit when I finally get back to NYC this week, but in the mean time you need to follow my Twitter and follow my Tumblr for crazy photos and tales from the road!

But anyway, Happy 4th of July and I hope you New Yorkers are enjoying the hotdog eating contest without me. We are headed to New Orleans tonight or tomorrow so I think I will just leave you with this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-cT6SwFIHA[/youtube]

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