I have all these random photos left over from my LA trip and I didn’t really know what to do with them. Many of these shots were taken on my 35mm camera. I have shots from my friend Lauren’s birthday, my porn star Disneyland trip and my adventures with a bunch of cute girls I met in a line. So what I am going to do, is just post a bunch of my favorites and write a little bit about them and that will be that. But since I am posting like a million photos, we are gonna do it all after the jump. So click here to see all the photos or click the more link to see the captioned photos. I hope that makes sense. Or you can click this random photo of a hip dinosaur to open the full post in a new window. Is that easier for you? I don’t wanna send mix signals. I am just trying to make you happy baby. You know I am here for you.

I am not sure a Dinosaur has ever looked this cool. He is like the James Dean of Brontosauri.

This photo was taken at a rooftop hotel party where my friend Tom and I some how ended up. We decided it was like a Bret Easton Ellis novel directed by David Lynch. We sort of sat in the corner and marveled about how uniquely weird and LA it was. When we arrived one of the bouncers was being put into a cop car.

Rony of Rony’s Photobooth invited me to his ex-girlfriend Lauren’s birthday party. I love both those kids so it is sad to not see them together, but they seem to be still good friends, so that works.

Lauren was wearing latex over a t-shirt which seems like a great look, but I am no expert, even though I was documented by a South Korean street fashion blogger today.

The party was filled with photo bloggers. I asked Rony about this, he said that he only knows photographers. That seemed like a completely reasonable answer.

This girl on the left is named Julia. I might have fallen in love with her for about 15 minutes. She emailed me but it ended up in my spam folder and when I finally responded I never heard back. Maybe mine ended up in her spam folder. It is like a modern Greek tragedy.

A few nights later Jessie Lee and I went to a Vice Magazine party that was completely packed and they would not let us in despite us being on lists and her banging one of the DJs. We met some kids in the line, who also couldn’t get in. They were awesome, and mostly cute girls so we fit everyone in my rental car and drove to different parties.

This is Mallyce. I definitely fell in love with her for a few hours. She runs a rad clothing label called Laeken. She acted as my LA tour guide for a night.

We all went to Bar 107. Mallyce and her amazing assistant Hailley and Jessie Lee tried to use the photo booth but it was broken so we made a make shift photo booth with my camera.

After that we all went back to these amazing artist lofts that Mallyce lives in. Her next door neighbor is an artist named Ryan Patterson. He invited me inside his place which was covered in dead babies. It was set up like a museum with creepy babies everywhere. He had a baby coffin on his dining room table. Amazing.

One of the nights I was in LA I went to Bardot. Outside this guy was singing Al Green for change. I gave him a few dollars because a) I am a huge fucking Al Green fan and b) he was an amazing singer and he was hamboning a little bit. What? Just look it up.

I met this girl there who was doing handsprings and shit while we were waiting to find some sort of after party or something. When she left I told her I would never see her again as I am not native to LA. She promised me I would see her again. An hour later I saw her at a diner.

This is BJ. He was with the handspring girl. He seems to be beloved by everyone. He was with this girl who was having a shitty night. I was trying to be nice to her but she acted like I was trying to fuck her (surprisingly I was not) and was a total cunt to me. She ordered a coffee to my table and left without paying for it. BJ apologized for her and tried to pay for it. Seems like good people.

Robyn took me to this warehouse. I am not exactly sure what they do there but it has to do with building sets for movies and shooting commercials or movies or something. They have a deer head from Evil Dead 2 and light stands from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This guy had a bunch of beers and started driving the forklift down the street. When I left I passed him driving down the middle of the street. He told me he once built a penis wack-a-mole game for a Sweedish porn film.

On my last day in LA I didn’t have any plans so my friend and porn star Madison Mitchell invited me to Disneyland to celebrate her friend and porn star Dana Dearmond’s birthday. This is Dana and California Adventure Mickey.

This is Madison on a ride that is inside of a Giant Orange. It was pretty much the only ride that we went on that didn’t last over an hour.

Bobbi Starr (not pictured) bought us all Churros 10 minutes after we had lunch. I have never seen such a small girl consume so much food. This photo is of Aiden Starr, Madison and Dana. I had never seen any movies with Bobbi or Aiden but my friend Eon gave me a movie he produced with them in it. In it Aiden ties a large black man up like he is a horse being prepared for breeding and hits him with a riding crop while asking if he is a good stable boy.

After Dana saw that one of the characters in Monsters Inc had braces like she does we decided to wait in an hour long line for the Monsters Inc ride. It was pretty much the same thing as the Pirates of the Caribbean ride except really shitty and with a cute baby instead of badass pirates. Also, does anyone find it creepy that an octopus would be making sushi? It’s like a pig cooking BBQ.

This is Dana and Bobbi eating ribs. It was at least their third meal in 3 hours. The ribs were fucking amazing and we ate them, talked about HIV, and watched some sort of electric parade. After being at Disneyland with four porn stars all day you begin to realize that there are a lot of things you can’t say that loud while being surrounded by children. Porn and fucking dudes in the ass with a strap on is not the best Monsters Inc line conversation. It was a lovely day.

So yeah. That is it. That is the last thing I am going to say about my LA trip that happened nearly a month ago. I think it is time to move on. But yeah, if you still want to see more… Check out the gallery for the rest of the shots.

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