So have you guys ever been on Model Mayhem?  If you are not aware, it is a site where people who want to be photographers and people who want to be models try to get famous, get fucked, or at the very least take naked pictures of each other.  While there are certainly some actually amazing photographers on there, and a number of actual agency repped models most of it is a cluster fuck.  There are all these male models who send comments to girls like “I wanna pose with you baby!”.  And I am sure a lot of photographers even more lecherous than I use it to see actual naked people.  I have shot a few girls off the site, but mostly it has been a waste of my time.  That being said, their forums are fucking amazing.

The forums seem to be almost completely unregulated and people are so hostile in there.  I mean if you want to know if your work at all holds up, go on those forums.  Those people will rip you a new asshole.  Watching wanna be models/photogs ask for advice on there is so good.  People will just tell them to quit now and never look back.  It is phenomenal.  After spending some time in there one day I came up with an idea.

I want to, as a joke, very seriously attempt to become a professional male model.  The thing is, while I am at least moderately cute, I am in fucking horrible shape, my skin seen the sun in a decade, clothes don’t fit me and it is very clear that I should never, ever be a model.  That being said, I do have one thing going for me… I know a lot of really amazing photographers.  So here is the idea.  I want to go to some of my friends who are pro-photogs and have them take really great photos of me.  Then I will start a Model Mayhem account as a model and then go into the forums and ask people for advice.  Now I am about to post some pretty funny photos with this post, but the only ones I will put on MM will be ALMOST serious shots.  I am going to post photos that while funny to you and me and everyone who knows about this will be believable enough for everyone else to think I am serious.  I am going to go about it in a really serious way and not give up until a) I think it is no longer funny or b) I get an actual paid model gig that doesn’t involve gay sex in any way.

I had been talking about this “becoming a professional male model as performance art” idea for a while, but when I was out in LA my friend Robyn Von Swank was teaching me some photoshop tricks.  We grabbed her camera and spent 10 minutes outside shooting some photos.  She touched a few of them up for me as I watched.  She did a pretty half assed job on them cause we were just fucking around teaching me stuff, but still, they are all good enough to pass for attempts at modeling work.  Most of them are too over the top for this project, but the ones of me leaning on the car are pure gold.  So now I just need a few more “looks” and I can start this hilarious plan I have.

So if any of my photog friends/fans out there, want to shoot me for the benefit of this really stupid project, let me know. I will keep you guys all updated if I ever follow up on this. When I have told people about this idea about half the people just stare at me and the other half think it is kinda brilliant… so let me know how you feel about it. If people think it is amusing, I will actually try to follow through…

But for now enjoy some of these shots that Robyn took of me and make sure to check out her website, because she is a really great photographer, despite how silly/half assed these shots are.  All the photos Robyn took can be found if you click here.

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