You need to buy this straw on ebay.  It is the exact length of my erect penis.  Per description:

At work the other day I saw a box of straws. On the box it said their length. This length was coincidentally the exact length of my fully erect genitalia. Because of the mass media obsession with my website, Drivenbyboredom, I know there is a big demand out there to find out exactly how big I am. There is only one of three ways: 1. Ask someone and hope they are telling the truth, 2. Trick me into cheating on my girlfriend with you, OR you could buy this straw. You need it now. Free shipping on any orders over $100. Otherwise, it will cost you one buck. Are you excited yet?

So BID ON IT NOW!!!

For archival reasons; here is a screen shot.

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