Meet Barry
I talk to maybe five people I went to high school with. Of them, four of them were in my fifth grade class. Wait. Stop.
Before I go any further, let me point out that I had to look up how to spell the word fifth. I was positive that it was spelled fith. I thought that they just forgot to put it in my spell check. I was so confused. That was terrible… anyway what was I saying?
Ah yes, the fifth grade. This was the year I fell in love with Laura Riter, who’s last name is also spelled wrong. This was the year I met Emily Anderson a girl I crushed on for years in high school. But more importantly this was the year that I met Jamie Green, Sam Engel, Tom Danbury and Barry Gamble. These four people make up my best friends in life and with the exception of my little brother the four closest people to me.
Barry is brilliant. Barry is a few months away from becoming a professional bowler. Barry is an amateur body builder. Barry is a fan of both rap music and Irish rock. He wears Jordan’s with spiked bracelets. He is obsessed with nutrition, but is the first person I call when staging an eating contest. Barry has the worst taste in movies of anyone I have ever met which means I can drag him along to movies like You Got Served and he will go willingly. Barry goes to dance parties to dance, not to drink, do drugs or talk to girls. Barry sneaks wine coolers in to bars because he refuses to pay bar prices and until recently hated the taste of beer. Barry once posed naked in front of 1000 people. Barry is the slowest person in the history of the planet yet he some how managed to become the captain of our high school cross country team. Barry will park in the first parking space he can find even if it is 10 blocks away from his destination. Barry and I got in one argument in the 17 years I have known him and it was because I took a sip of his drink and refused to get him a new one. Oh, I forgot to mention Barry is a germaphobe. He is also one of the few people on Earth I would take a bullet for. (I really own him since when we were kids I once put him through a “Bravery Test” in which I took the end of a pencil and erased his hand until he called mercy. He has a scar to this day.)
So why am I talking about Barry? Well because when Barry and I lived together in Richmond he was constantly telling me about fucked up shit on the internet. Since I moved I haven’t heard much from him, but when I was in town last week he showed me countless fucked up YouTube videos. I asked him to send me links to them and I am going to post a few of them here. Hopefully from now on he will be sending me amazing shit when he finds it and I will post it for you. So get excited… but be warned, the videos he sends me tend to be very, very fucked up so click with care.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH BARRY’S CHOICE VIDEOS
PS. I took pictures of some of his shoes for him. Click here for those.
